I have two children (12 & 9) and split with their dad 5 years ago. We have a routine of Monday/Tuesday with him, Wednesday/Thursday with me and Friday Saturday Sunday alternating - these are days he instigated and on the whole work well.
I am a single parent and I work full time, I also have no family within a 200 mile range. Ex works for himself and has a partner and two more children.
Communication is at all time low. He refuses to respond to texts. Won't answer the phone. If he's bringing the children back to me he does this in his own time and not as arranged. He collected mt daughter from a sports event last week and refused to answer me when he'd be back. He had a school friend with him and had been contacting her mother (as she updated me) so I know he COULD respond, he was just refusing to contact me. His partner was helping with arrangements but has now backed away saying she doesn't (understandably) want to be in the middle.
There are times I need to change this arrangement (work/life) and always ask him first if this works. The same with any holiday I want to take. He doesn't give me the same courtesy and generally "tells" me when he's taking the children away. He also doesn't need to ask me to swap days because he's always got somebody at home (his partner) to pick up if he has to work away etc, which living on my own I don't have the ability to do.
Over the years I have relied on him when both children were at after school clubs at the same time and in different locations for example as obviously I can't pick up in two places at once. Fwiw these are always clubs that he's organised without asking me and usually on the days the children are meant to be with me.
As time has gone by I've realised he's got more control than I am comfortable with and it's making it difficult for me to make plans etc. it's also creating situations where some weeks he's actually got 70/30 care rather than 50/50.
I am considering a child arrangement order. I haven't done this before as believed it was like take away any flexibility but the more he has everything stacked in his favour etc and how he now refuses to discuss anything with me I know I need something from an authority in place so he doesn't have ultimate control.
My question is, when a court order is in place, is there any flexibility available as although I try to stick the the days we have sometimes this isn't possible.
Thanks