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Can anyone please help me

4 replies

mzpsmummy · 28/02/2023 19:24

I know truthfully it was but my ex has denied all allegations. We're at the start of the court process and I've decided to do this with a mckenzie friend who is a paralegal. Our history:

•pressured and religious coercion for sex / getting me to cover. Shamed me if I didn't cover or in the way he wished. I have text evidence of this behaviour.

•unfaithful to me and then blamed me (online tinder accounts) despite making me have no makes follow me etc & remove even friends who's s/o May have access to their account.

•accused me of being bipolar

•took pictures of things in the house he deemed unclean to his standards and shamed me in front of my uncle and cousin & sent them picture of these things (jackets not hung up and hoover not emptied)

•told me anyone else would've divorced me a long time ago and continuously threatened to leave me if I spoke up about any issues. He would hold the Quraan swearing on it he will divorce me sometimes for no reason just to watch me squirm and panic. I cringe so hard that I did that and begged.

•controlled my finances even after I told him i couldn't afford to pay for things and would pay for something else alternatively he manipulated me to carry on. He would make me feel taking me to asda he did me a 'favour' and would often rush me and sit in the car, if he came in with me he'd watch what I buy and what I spend on and replace things for me.

•threatened to show intimate videos of me to my dad and uncle I have only texts of me telling my counsellor about this.

•he shamed me continuously for not doing housework how he wanted. I was a SAHM I cooked and cleaned and worked 2.5 hours a day too.

•he told me when I refused to cover my face "if I could go back and choose differently I would" I approached minds matters and had a therapist of my own during this time who made me aware it's abuse.

•he slammed doors in front of my child and said in front of him "mum you know I'm only with her because she won't leave me" truthfully if I had an ounce of self esteem I would've left but I was so weak.

•miscarriage in March and 3 weeks after trying to get me pregnant again told me he's wanted a divorce for 6 months

My Q is, was angry of this THAT bad?
We had good times between this too. I feel bc he didn't beat me it wasn't that bad.
I've offered contact if he takes a DVPP course. I have a non mol against him to protect myself. Of course he's not going to admit to the course is not suitable for him.. of course this will go to a FF hearing. I'm just afraid. Anyone been through emotional abuse and actually had Cafcass support them?

OP posts:
AnImmenseDislikeOfPeople · 01/03/2023 21:24

I have no real advice but sweetheart, all of that is bad. Combined it is awful emotional abuse. Do not doubt yourself. He is clearly not a good person.

coodawoodashooda · 01/03/2023 21:36

Go to Women's Aid.

mzpsmummy · 01/03/2023 23:45

@coodawoodashooda I have done this, they were good at directing me to other places however I don't seem to get far with the helpline. Will try again tomorrow. The line is only open 2 hours a day.

OP posts:
mzpsmummy · 01/03/2023 23:46

@AnImmenseDislikeOfPeople I appreciate you commenting thank you

I know you're right, I'm just hoping it's enough, I should stop doubting myself, gaslighting myself as I have done for so long. The cycle needs to break.

OP posts:
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