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Original poster

dating advice

6 replies

anonymoussss2 · 23/02/2023 20:01

is it bad i don't want my son to have a step father figure lol i'm very protective of him and i don't think i could trust anyone enough to even bring myself to do that plus having seen my mum have us have abusive step father makes me even more protective. i'm currently talking to someone who doesn't want kids and same i don't want any anymore and we seem to like each other and he's aware i'm a mother and says he likes me enough to accept i'm a mother. is it bad i want to continue getting to know him and maybe eventually consider a relationship despite the above? anyone who has experienced this?

OP posts:
SpinningFloppa · 23/02/2023 23:22

Kind of the opposite for me, I wish I had dated when mine was younger as I think my kids would have benefitted from a step dad (too late now they are too old) but I’ve been single 6 years and unlikely to meet anyone now.

ChrisTrepidation · 26/02/2023 11:20

I can totally relate.

I have four year old twins and I've been single since their dad left when they were 15 months old.

I can't imagine bringing another man into their life. The risks just don't outweigh the benefits for me.

I can't imagine trusting another man ever again tbh.

Onemyownhere · 26/02/2023 15:51

I personally can't understand why some people who have children under the age of 2 are out there dating anyway... My son is 2 and i wouldn't have the time to be dating anyone anytime soon as his only 2! I do get lonely and i do wish i could but my son comes first! I dont have no family (brought up in care) and no friends, so my best is to just go to playgroups and meet other mums at the moment

Onemyownhere · 26/02/2023 16:08

I wouldn't get with someone who doesn't want kids not without getting a background check on them first regardless whether i dont want anymore or not I still have my son to safeguard

AviMav · 05/03/2023 19:38

Have you met up with this person yet? I wouldn't think too far down the line there's no need to rush and introduce kids IF it even got that far.

You do have to live your life though OP even for the social aspect you deserve it and kids don't stay small forever. Good luck.

SpringCalling · 05/03/2023 20:00

I think much depends on the kids age. From splitting with my ex when dd was five until last october when she was 11, I was single and focussed on her. But with the advent of secondary school and the realisation she doesn't need me in the same way, that she's off out etc, I've started dating a great man and am very relaxed about eventually introducing him. In fact I'd like to be able to model a healthy relationship to her. He has kids too which helps, he's never going to take over as father figure to my dd - she already has a dad - but I think it will be healthy for her to see us together in the end.

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