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Dealing with ex’s new partner

20 replies

Sjl1985 · 20/02/2023 12:57

I have a 2yr old daughter with my ex, we split not long after she was born. And he’s been in a relationship for a year now, I’ve never met her.

She stalked me on social media a lot , including making tik toks about me being a jealous ex. I obviously immediately blocked her on everything. She would carry on using her friends accounts and fake accounts. Always trying to follow me on Instagram and Facebook. Everything I have is private.

She messaged me on WhatsApp a few months ago with some abuse, I blocked her on WhatsApp.

Me and my ex have built up a very strong co-parent relationship. But unfortunately we had an argument a few days ago. A couple of hours later I received numerous abusive text messages and phone calls from her. Including threats to come round to my house. And other messages goading me. I blocked her number. And then the phone calls from a withheld number started constantly which I ignored.

When my ex dropped our daughter off yesterday, my mum was here and she spoke to him. He agreed to tell his girlfriend to leave me alone.

Today I’ve received more abusive phone calls from what I assume is her friends number. I’ve blocked this number.

Ive never spoken to her in my life. I’ve never responded to any texts or phone calls, I ignore, put the phone down and block.

What more can I do? This girl is making me anxious and stressed. All I’m doing is trying to get along with my daughters dad. I’m scared she’s going to turn up at my house. I’m also worried about my daughter being around her now.

OP posts:
WhineWhineWINE · 20/02/2023 12:58

Report her to the police

SpinningFloppa · 20/02/2023 13:03

If you’ve never met her then how does she know your sm accounts? What makes her say you are a jealous ex?

BeExcellent2EachOther · 20/02/2023 13:06

This is harassment and yes, you should log it with the police.

Sjl1985 · 20/02/2023 13:07

I assume she knows my name from seeing old photos of me on my ex’s Facebook or something like that. Or perhaps he’s told her. I have no idea how she found my tiktok though because that’s not even got my name on it! So that’s quite odd.

And I’m not sure where the jealous ex comes from. I was the one to end the relationship. Perhaps he’s told her a slightly different story.

OP posts:
MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 20/02/2023 13:09

What does your ex say about it?

Sjl1985 · 20/02/2023 13:13

My ex agreed that he’d tell her to leave me alone. So he’s either not told her or she’s ignored his advice.

The messages range from her saying I’m not allowed to buy him gifts from his daughter on Xmas, birthday etc….to messages saying she’s coming round to my house to cause sh*t.

I wasn’t sure whether this was something the police would deal with. I don’t want to overreact, but I’m at my wits end now.

OP posts:
mrstea301 · 20/02/2023 13:27

People like this are all mouth. If she had any intention of coming to your house, she wouldn't be telling you about it beforehand.

I would keep forwarding all her contact attempts / threats etc to your ex and tell him to deal with it. I would also keep a good record of everything and think about getting a non-mol order or a cease and desist or something

Hope551 · 20/02/2023 13:44

Never meet her, never engage. Explain calmly to Ex partner as your co parenting well now. I'm pretty sure if she keeps this up she will soon be an Ex! She sounds like wayy too much hostile drama to be in a relationship with. Your Ex will get sick of it

ijustneedanamefgs · 20/02/2023 13:52

Your ex needs to do more than say he will speak to her about it. I wouldn’t want my child around someone this toxic, especially as your lo is so young and vulnerable, so your ex needs to sort it or it will affect his relationship with his child.

Sjl1985 · 20/02/2023 13:58

Thank you everyone.

I will continue to ignore and block any attempts to contact me. And I will calmly speak to my ex about her behaviour and it affecting his relationship with our daughter.

I guess if it continues then I’d have no other option but to speak with the police. Which I don’t want to have to do. I’d rather just be left alone to get on with our lives.

OP posts:
MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 20/02/2023 16:40

What does he say about all this though? Have you asked him what it's all about and why is he allowing her to do this?

I would be horrified if my partner was pulling this sort of shit. Isn't he concerned?

I would contact the police and a solicitor.

He said he would have a word and she's just carried on. Enough now.

MrLbz · 20/02/2023 17:14

Sounds like he is breaking the very important "Don't put your D**k in crazy" rule....

Flamingle18 · 20/02/2023 17:46

Sorry you're having to deal with this crazy woman! I went through similar but from my bfs ex. She used to follow me, reported me to the police for attacking her in the pub even though there were witnesses that I hadn't gone near her, made so many lies up in court, cut contact between my bf and his dd. When I was pregnant she stopped contact because we wouldn't tell her the sex of our baby after the 20 week scan when we'd not even told our own families! She hated that her daughter liked me. She ruined a lot of my ds baby stage as I was constantly on edge in case I bumped in to her. My bf was constantly and understandably sad that he kept having his contact stopped. At one point, she said he was only allowed her in public areas in the middle of January and would hand dd over with no coat or completely inappropriate clothes.
We kept a diary, all calls, texts, social media posts about us were logged. It really helped when we had to take action against her.

gonnabeok · 20/02/2023 17:51

She only has to engage in behaviour that distressed you on 2 separate occasions for it to be harassment. Keep a log of everything and screenshot the messages and provide the police with them. It is definitely harassment.Is she around your daughter? She sounds unhinged?

TheFormidableMrsC · 20/02/2023 18:10

Please report this and keep reporting it every time. I've had all this shit and it's draining. Just let the police deal with it and her. It's harassment.

nationallampoons · 20/02/2023 20:39

Report her to the police. The exact same thing happened to me.
She still stalk me, which is why I regularly change my username on here because I know she searches for me

It will not get better until the police are called. My exes partner ended up in court and was convicted

BananaCocktails · 24/05/2023 15:14

Something doesn’t ring true about this. Why would she constantly call you and abuse you when you’ve never spoken to her
are you sure you haven’t ever spoken to her? does your ex say stuff to her about you? Have you said stuff about her to your ex he probably went and repeated it to her which is where all this is coming from
I will just tell him to tell her that you’re going to call the police on her if she doesn’t stop and hopefully that should shut her up

ScatsThat · 25/05/2023 16:21

Report it to the police. It is harassment (and batshit crazy to do this to someone you've never met over a present from their daughter!). Log everything!

Ilikepinacoladass · 28/05/2023 18:45

She sounds like the jealous one! Life is hard enough without having to deal with that crap. :-(

nationallampoons · 30/05/2023 21:37

@BananaCocktails the exact same thing happened to me.

Never met her, never spoken to her and she created 100s of social media profiles to stalk and harass me. Phoned me using 141 daily, so I changed my number. She got it again from my ex then carried on. Then when blocked again she started calling my work.

We didn't know who it was because a voice changer was used, eventually the police found out it was her and she was taken to court and convicted.

They found over 100 gift gaff sims in her house. She says I never did anything to her and she just did it 🤷🏻‍♀️

It does happen. Some people are just insane

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