Could he really take the kids ?

[Freddiesextrateeth]

Hi,
I'm newly single, my decison, still living in ex partners house. We share 3 young children. The mortgage is in his name.
I'm not worried about getting the house or staying in it or anything like that. I want a fresh start and am happy to rent somewhere.
He has been working part time as after the birth of my second child I had severe pnd and a breakdown where I was sectioned for a short time. I took meds, had therapy, got better. So he didn't work full time. To be there more for me and the kids to support us. I am a sahm.
When I told him I would rent somewhere with the kids he told me "we'll see", like a threat. He's been used to us receiving universal credit alongside his earnings to top up our income. I'm guessing he doesn't want to work full time, but obviously he has to pay his mortgage.
Of course I'm looking for a job. But I was hoping to claim benefits get a house sorted and then get a job once all settled.
Could he stop me from claiming by claiming himself for them? Thus making it impossible for me to rent somewhere with bedrooms for the kids? I'm more than willing to do 50/50 custody. But would initially need to be resident parent to be able to receive enough in benefits to actually get a house big enough to have the kids.
My heads in a spin. He can be emotionally controlling/ nasty with his words.

Obviously im more used to the hearing the majority of the time the dad doesn't want the kids full time anyway and it's just assumed the mum will have custody. Which is kind of what I was expecting as he moans constantly about not having anytime for his hobbies.
What can I do to be better prepared. Will it resort to solicitors?

Do you think he is saying this because he doesn't want to split, or wants control?
Any advice on reading material or what my rights are. My youngest is only 18 months and my 2nd child is still attached at the hip, and hates not being with me.

X

Well done OP for working so hard to improve your mental health. That is to be truly commended. Please do not feel this is a personal attack on you, but I wanted to raise a few points in your post from an outsiders perspective

It feels a bit hypocritical your post. You think he doesn't want to work full time but you don't work? Will that change?

You're willing to do 50:50 but not initially as will effect your benefits? Will you declare it after you get your house? Or commit benefit fraud? Why do you feel you are more entitled to it than him?

Children are very resilient and regardless of outcome will adapt. If you can manage to work out a schedule between you it saves a lot of money. Solicitors are expensive.

Thanks for your reply. It's not that I don't want to work, but I haven't been as I've been bringing up the children, youngest is only 1. Reality is he won't want them full time, and I doubt will want them even 50/50, although I'd be happy to facilitate that. Of course I would be doing this all above board. Everything is hypothetical atm, whilst we work out how to co-parent and navigate our way through the break up.

Child benefit has to be in your name to be able to put them on your UC claim.
Meaning if it is in your name he won't be able to put them in his claim.
Good luck with your future plans.

Thankyou. Thankfully the child benefit is in my name x