Haven’t told the dad

[Bramble90]

Hi. I know this won’t be popular but I’m looking for advice not judgment.
I am pregnant and I haven’t told the dad. We were in a relationship when I got pregnant but he was abusive and I just don’t want my baby to grow up with that. I have finally left and trying to rebuild my life. His mum has always been cruel and abusive to him so I am trying to protect my baby from all of that. I know I should tell him though coz baby might want to know when they’re older and it’s the right thing to do but I also just need to her baby safe from what I’ve been through. All the manipulation and bullying.
I’m just wondering if anyone else has been through this where you haven’t told the dad. Did people judge you? What should I tell people when they ask about the dad? What about midwife’s and people like that? Will they make me tell him?
I just don’t think I’m strong enough either way but I want this baby.

You’ve done absolutely the right thing by leaving an abusive relationship and protecting yourself and your baby. You just tell everyone the truth including health professionals, no need to be ashamed - no one will make you tell him. Stay strong and make sure you access all the support you need in your pregnancy.

No they won’t make you tell them, not sure how you think they could make you tell them? My ex wasn’t involved in my last pregnancy (his choice) and no one made me tell them who he was. No one batted an eye lid I just said father wasn’t involved and it wasn’t mentioned again.

Do whatever is necessary. Move away , get rid of mutual friends, lock down s.media but i would avoid any posts relating to pregnancy or the baby.

I can sympathise and I think you did exactly the right thing. Take your time to think about what is best for you both. I was stalked in 2011 and in the next relationship, which wasn't great, I was manipulated into having an abortion. When my child was born I didn't tell the Dad as we had split on bad terms and I was scared he would either stalk me or force me to abort.
My child is very happy but does ask about him so I have tried emailing him, making contact over FB 5 years later and he isn't responding. Maybe he doesn't use those accounts anymore-I don't know. I am really glad I had those 5 years to give my child a good start. I am writing to ask if he wants to be a father to my child in any capacity whatsoever, in the future or now but no response. He's not British and lives in Spain. Does anyone have any idea if there's any legal means of ensuring he has received my messages? I want to be sure I have informed him but have no way of telling if he's ignoring me and isn't interested in parenting my child(probably has his own family) or whether he hasn't got the messages. Are there any more official methods of informing him? Please? Thanks if anyone can help.

I'm pregnant and I haven't told the baby daddy.

I stopped talking to him a few weeks before I found out I was pregnant.

He has a really short temper and blows up at people really easily.
I put a barrier in-between us after he sat putting me down during a conversation.

I had that years ago with an ex, so I stopped the conversation short. I muted him on whatsapp because I knew he would spam me with messages.

Sure enough he did and tried to play the victim.

He then tried contacting me a couple of days later asking if we were cool, I told him no and I didn't want to talk.
So the next minute he's blowing up whatsapp, so I blocked him.
He then rang me off a different number and when I didn't answer, started threatening to come to my house.
Then spam calling me off a private number.

I unblocked him on whatsapp ans told him to stop contacting me, before blocking him again.

Since that point he's tried calling me, liking my facebook posts etc...

Quite honestly, I don't feel safe knowing he's around and I wouldnt feel safe if I told him I was pregnant.