Ex Husband taking me to court

[swimwithD]

Me and my (now ex husband) separated when my daughter was 1 ( she is now 4)
When the split happened it was during covid and we had no childcare so we split the week down the middle. This was his "suggestion" he was controlling and manipulative and i did not have a choice - he moved out of my home and moved to a property next to me and used to record me when i left the property.
I moved out and when i did, i told him it was better for our daughter to see him every other weekend (she was struggling with the all aspects of every other day change and i moved an hour away so it was not possible for this to continue) - this was until he had to start paying me maintenance.
As soon as CMS got involved he didnt like it and starting pushing for 50.50 again as he "was never going to give me a penny of his money". That was fine and it was with CMS.
My daughter then started getting back to back tonsilitis and was put on antibiotics after antibiotics to try and stop it. He wouldnt tell me if she had the medicine/had calpol so i always had to wait 4hrs after collecting her to give her any medication until it spiralled and she ended up in A&E and Social Services got involved. He also would not cooperate at handovers on the weekends and would be horrible to my daughter saying she was not allowed to take "extra curricula (?!?) items with and would throw them on the floor while she cried asking for me. I stopped contact and told him my concerns and he ignored them and hasnt seen his daughter for 7 months (CMS has now caught up with him to pay maintenance) and he now wants to take me to court for full custody.
I have always understood it is important for her to have a relationship with her dad but not when her medical needs and emotional needs are not being met, it makes things extremely difficult.
Is there any way he will be given full custody or even 50.50 custody bearing in mind he has behaved like this in the past?
we divorced because of emotional, verbal and financial abuse as well as coercive control if this makes any difference?

So the child has been with you and only you for 7 months? I would think it's very unlikely unless he has safeguarding conserns about your parenting. That's pretty much the only way one parent is not permitted to spend time with their child. It's actually incredibly hard to get a no contact order.
Also the status quo is for the child to live with you, courts generally like to keep to the status quo.
Regarding any safeguarding conserns you may have regarding his parenting. You need very very good evidence of abuse and not just " difference in parenting styles".

Unfortunately abuse from one parent to another also isn't really a major factor in how the courts see parenting ability.

Thank you 😻Yes she lives with me and has had no contact with her father for 7/8months now. No birthday cards/christmas cards requests to have a phone call. When she did spend time with him, i offered him to see her on a friday evening (before my concerns) and he told me it was "incompatible with his social life" and that he would prefer to collect her at 11am.

Evidence everything in writing, as much as you can on emails, texts etc, print them out keep a chronological record. Keep a journal of what has been happening. You need to demonstrate you have not tried to alienate him, that he has made no effort to stay in touch with his daughter. Ideally you have some evidence of his attitude changing entirely after CMS getting involved, a text saying he refuses to pay child support - i.e. his only interest is the money not your daughter.

I would start the every other weekend contact again as that is your best case scenario, he is not bad enough for no contact. And again evidence any continued neglect mistreatment etc But always be nice, try to meet him halfway, and always centre your daughter in conversations, what is best for her. Imagine everything you do and say could be used in court. The EOW might feel wrong to you given his behaviour, but you do not want to lose her entirely due to parental alienation charges.

If you stopped the CMS claim would he still want custody or access?

What did the social worker find? If they have any issues in regards to your Ex and what went on they would log it and would aid you in court.

You can't lose custody unless their is safe guarding concern against you. Worst case scenario would be 50:50.

I would log all your concerns for court and if it does go 50:50 hopefully they can implement something to ensure she gets her medical needs met when she is in his care. Perhaps more monitoring on his part, contact centre ect. After 7 months without seeing him it wouldn't be unusual for them to start with contact centres which would at least enable his interaction with her to be monitored xx