So long story short I’m having an extremely hard time with my children. Both are going through assessments for various additional needs.
social work encouraged me to build on the relationship with their dad, which I have done. And this week the children have been split up so one has been with me & the other with dad for various reasons but mainly so myself & oldest son can recover from youngests outbursts.
anyways, yesterday was the first time myself & my sons dad had been alone together (the children were there but no other supervising party) for a very long time & I remembered exactly why!
I left that house feeling like the worst mum in the world, everything is all my fault. He knows my mental health is suffering a lot recently & he knows being apart from my youngest is killing me but I’m trying my best to set boundaries & this was a consequence of breaking those boundaries. But he’s just completely thrown all that back in my face! I left there thinking I wanted to end it all. My kids would be better off without me. I’m the problem.
at present him & his mother are my only childcare outside of school hours, his mother is amazing & it’s usually her that I deal with because we both know how evil he can be. She is one of my biggest supports but sadly he comes as part of the package & just ruins it.
im in scotland, is there anywhere I can go for advice?
I am sick of him making me feel worthless.
social work want to keep contact going by any means necessary & I’ve had solicitors involved at first & they advised contact hours & also advised me not to put him on birth cert (he threatened to take my youngest at 2 days old & said I’d never see either of them again, which is also part of the reason we split)
I understand kids need routine, even more so if they have additional needs but I honestly don’t know how much more of this abuse I can take.