What newborn childcare support did you have?

[rihanna4]

Hello

What type of childcare support did you have during your child's first year, how long for and how much did it cost?

Thanks in advance for any shared experiences.

Both of mine started with a local childminder before 8month old. I paid £3.50ph and supplied all milk nappies and wipes, CM supplied all meals and snacks. I had second child starting with the same CM when dc1 got their 30hours at a local Preschool so CM did full days for the youngest and wrap around for the oldest.

I only needed term time though as we have one parent who only works school days.

Oh and we were both on Low income so got working tax credits towards the childcare (small sum).

Nursery from 6 months,2 days a week. I was back at work 4 days a week. Dh had him 1 day and parents on the other. Nursery was £40 a day then including all food, milk and nappies.

Thank you for sharing.

I don't have a partner and am hoping to have a child as a single mum. Would be great to hear any single mum experiences. Thanks!

Newborn, none. DS went to nursery full time at 8 months when I went back to work full time.

@sanityisamyth Thanks. Were you a single mum through all of that?

With my eldest, she went to nursery full time at 3 months old, we did an hour commute each way on the train together plus an hour together walking to and from train station. I worked full time, and my pay only just covered rent/nursery and barest essentials. I had no family support whatsoever. We had a v close, loving relationship when she was a child/teen and she’s now a successful professional.

Nothing until 11 months old when I went back to work and DS started nursery 4 days pw.

None until DD turned one and I went back to work.

Not a single mum but DH worked very long hours (out of the house or at his desk if wfh at 8, break around 6:30 for bathtime and back to work at 7 until midnightish).

@Anonymouslyposting so you still had a salary coming in that made it feasible to take a whole year off work.

Could you possibly imagine that your advice isn’t very helpful when OP’s finances/support position is very different to having a DH with long hours?

OP as a lone parent you will get more benefit support with your childcare bill. It's worth running the figures now through an online calculator - with you answering as if the children are currently in that paid childcare.

Solo parent, my son started childcare at 10 months when I went back to work. He goes two days a week now to a childminder who charges £4.50 an hour. Then on a Sunday whilst I work my mum has him. I then take two days a week annual leave.

I get universal credit childcare element to help it’s around £100 a month. But it all depends on what you earn you can get up to 85% on a low income.

After my son was born my mum stayed with me the six weeks I couldn’t drive or do much post section.

Having family and friends around helps, my sons been for sleepovers at his aunties, grandparents and his godparent had him for two weeks whilst I was in hospital recently.

None, mine didn’t go to nursery

I didn’t give any advice at all, nor did I say that my experience would be the same as the OPs.

The original post asked for people’s childcare experiences. She did not say that she was ONLY interested in the experiences of single parents. I now realise that this post was in lone parents - I came to it via the trending section and didn’t notice, several other posters have also mentioned having partners.

Of course having my DH’s salary while I was on leave makes it a different situation but the OP did not say that she was only interested in the cost implications. She may also be interested in the emotional side of doing the vast majority of childcare alone, which I did. If she’s not and it’s about how long she can take off without a DP’s financial support then she’s obviously free to ignore my post and/or say so.

For the record, I also didn’t live off DH’s salary while on leave, yes it gave peace of mind but I saved for years to be able to afford a year off without his help - to be clear, I could not have taken a year off relying on his salary alone. Again, I recognise that I was lucky to be able to save enough but assuming I lived off my DH is (a) rude and (b) incorrect.

All shared experiences and advice are welcome and gratefully received! But yes I'm a prospective single mum so really need to know what I'll be in for in that context - financially, emotionally, practically, physically - all of it!

Might as well have been.

Separated from now-ExH when DS was 12 months old. Prior to that, ExH left the house to take his EA "friend" to work, went to work himself, picked her up from work, went back to her house to pick up her brother, took them up to see my horses (which he stopped me from seeing), took them home where their mother would feed him, and then get back at 10pm so didn't actually see DS at all. I was EBF so he was no use overnight either. I didn't benefit from his salary as it went into his bank account (he said it was going into the joint account). It turned out that over our marriage he stole £56,000 from me and took out £28,000 in credit cards and loans in my name leaving me to pay them off and a default on my credit history.

Life without him is so much better!

Zero, all alone apart from DH who was busy WFH. Was stuck in lockdown until baby was 4 months. I had a very easy baby, he's probably a unicorn. Ate and slept like a dream.

But you had a DH who was wfh! Hardly a lone parent if he was in the picture!

Unless you're saying he never acknowledges the baby's existence/does 0 around the house. In that case why are you with him? LTB

None, we lived overseas so no family at all, and couldn't afford babysitters.

I'm not a single mum but have just had my second and have no family support nearby and husband works long hrs.

First I had during lockdown so no support really available. We got a babysitter when he was 10 months old for a couple of hours here and there to get him used to other people before starting nursery at 12mo.

Now I've got a little baby and have a cleaner once a fortnight and a mother's help come in twice a week - she does laundry, cooks a big batch meal and takes the toddler out. I'm hoping my baby will take a bottle soon so I can spend more time with my toddler.

The mother's help has been invaluable. My baby is a terrible napper and goes to bed late so I get no time to cook meals etc. If you can afford it I'd try and get someone like this to help out.

All the best xx