My anxiety is through the roof and I’m struggling. My ex has changed his mind, made accusations, all sorts since our daughter was born in December. Five weeks before the due date he started demanding paternity tests and I agreed to do it before baby was born as I didn’t want to put baby through it and wanted it out of the way. He then refused to do anything other than a home test so I refused. He asked to be on the birth certificate and said he wanted to talk about finances, yet when I tried to communicate he said I was pestering him so much he felt he had a stalker… I then cut contact as I was sick of feeling so pushed around. I applied for maintenance last week and of course he asked for a dna test. Me and his daughter booked it straight away and have had it done. He’s let the deadline pass to book his test and child maintenance have had to chase him to book it. Surely anyone suspicious as to paternity would be booking this immediately? This has now pushed the case back again and I heard today that he booked it for the end of Feb?! I get arrears apparently but they’re spread over 12 months so I don’t get an upfront lump sum if you see what I mean. I feel so pushed about by him and he’s told so many of our mutual friends that I can’t be trusted etc when I’ve quite literally never cheated on anyone in my life. I feel I’ve been dragged into this horrible dysfunctional dynamic and I can’t even defend myself as he just keeps throwing mud at me. He’s in a competitive legal industry and I wonder if he’s taking his time over this as he’s planning on taking time out of work or something? The longer he pushes it back the less likely it would be he would have to pay in that scenario, ie if he’s planning on stopping work. I would also struggle financially then as well as everything else.
I feel so destroyed as a person. So let down. I thought we were going to spend our lives together and instead we break up and then even now he can’t be decent? He’s never even met our lovely daughter either. I feel broken.