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so is it MY responsibility to drive to meet him to get my maintenance, pmsl, now that dd doesn't want to see him atm?

9 replies

pirategirl · 04/02/2008 12:44

Well he tried for ohhhhhhhhh approx two weeks to see dd, and now has pulled the 'what about your child maintenance' how can i get it too you.
(background-has bank probs so cant do it this way)

I suggested postal orders b4 xmas, thought that was a great idea.

Now has emailed me, ( have no idea where he got me email) to say he wishes to make the arrangement that I drive and meet him half way, every two weeks to get my money for dd.

HE HAS NOT BEEN bothered about 'getting the money to me for 3 yrs ffs'

Its just cos dd is refusing contact. He hasn't even mentioned dd in this, re me going there to get the money. I always have to read between the lines, maybe he wants to see d in the car?? I have no idea.

anyhow, i have told him its his responsibility to get the money to me. I am NOT putting myself out, when he has never put himself out for his little one's peace of mind or wellbeing.

fuck the money, what r you going to do about building a relationship with your dd??



rant over.

OP posts:
Alambil · 04/02/2008 16:16

GRR! What an arse! at least you aren't pandering to it lol... some men really are thick...

pirategirl · 04/02/2008 17:48

I swear, altho i know i am right, I feel so pressured by him, that he's making me feel ill.

Prob just what he wants, but I am tired, and depressed with this whole game. I feel worn down, and just down with it all. I dread the reply to my reply. I just said it wasn't convenient.

£ yrs and he can still make me feellike I am wrong, i dont' know how to get up soemtimes. Likenow. I feel like running away.

OP posts:
1sue1 · 04/02/2008 19:07

Aw, stay with it. Its prob a reaction he's after, so dont give him one.

Re the money, there must be another way. If you give him your bank account number and sort code, (he can't do anything dodgy with these) he can go in any branch of your bank and pay it in over the counter, as long as he fills in the paying in slip. Anyone can do this, its (obv) debiting that only the account holder can do.

pirategirl · 04/02/2008 19:26

omg why didn't i think of that, thick or what.

my bank works thru the post office, so he could be given paying in slips, if there is no other possible way.

OP posts:
1sue1 · 04/02/2008 22:36

Yep, he can do it at the PO. He has no excuse now.

Tinkerbel6 · 05/02/2008 11:00

he can set up a direct debit into your account each money if he is that bothered about getting the money to you, mention it to him and see what he says.

allgonebellyup · 05/02/2008 11:03

yes i dont know why he making you meet him miles away when there is deff no need for it.

pirategirl · 06/02/2008 07:56

thats the thing he hasn't got a bank account, this is the prob, it had to be a way of getting cash to me.

I can only now suss what banks he has where he lives and open an account, and gie him the dets. TBH this doesn't fil me with joy, as I don't trust him, altho, if he only has th sort and sccount no's, he can't get the money out can he, as i would be the named account holder, and possess all the info???

I gave him a few options, saying i was not prepared to travel, to which he said it was alos inconvenient for him (why suggest it then). Also said sending me a p order was too costly. I suggested that he (if he wanted to do two half trips per month) come to my town once amonth, hoping he may want to try and get to work this out with dd, this whole contat=ct thing.

He said he has no reason to come to my town, (despite his dd being here)I guess thats it regarding contact for the time being then. I know that dd has been refusing contact, but it seems like he's not thinking of any solution soon then. Given up already? Sulking more like.

i am am very very pissed off with him.

dd on the other hand seems very content recently.

OP posts:
pirategirl · 07/02/2008 11:19


get this. i am sort of realising why it got more and more anoying sharing a home with him.

After spending an hour yesterday opening another account in my name, in a bank which he can easily get too.

TODAY he writes and says he can, afterall deposit money via standing order. This being that his money/bamk problems are all back to normal.


what a waste of time, omg, he only started this whole 'can you drive to get you money' on monday.

how slack is that, not actaully knowing that this week his bankruptcy thing allowed him to resume banking as normal. WHO in thier right mind would not have got this info, and remembered this very important fact, when told 6 motnhs ago.

oh, yes him. He specificaly TOLD me is was nothing to do with his bankruptcy that he couldn't transfer funds to me. I asked him this last autumn.

I have replied to him saying, wel that was a waste of time. Myabe i shouldn't antagonize, him?

Yet noone ever stands up to him, and he has put me thru such a stupidly stressy week.

totally childish and unorganised.

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