Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

My ex doesn’t know about the baby

22 replies

Strongerthaneve · 01/01/2023 23:28

after leaving abusive partner I found out I was pregnant. I packed all my belongings and moved back to my origin country. I never told him about the baby. Now my bby girl is nearly one and he keeps texting me. I want to tell him about the bby but I remember him being crazy. He was emotionally, verbally and physically abusive. I’m looking at my daughter being happy , loved no stress no trauma. If I tell him about her everything will change. Is anyone in similar position as me? Shall I tell him about the baby?

OP posts:
Allsnotwell · 01/01/2023 23:34

Why haven’t you blocked him?
I doubt he’d become the living attentive father - so why tell him?

HellonHeels · 01/01/2023 23:34

No you should not tell him. And you should block him on everything. He was an abusive partner why do you allow him any channel of communication?

Shauna27 · 01/01/2023 23:37

Don't tell him, she deserves better than him and so do you. Move on and raise your beautiful little girl to be as strong as you were when you walked away from your abuser. You can tell her about him when she's older and I she will respect your decision. My mum did this and when she told me, I had so much respect for her as I know how difficult it must have been for her.

DreamingOfAGreenChristmas · 01/01/2023 23:45

Does he know where you are?

Honestly, block him. Lock down all your social media and mutual friends. Don’t make public posts about your baby etc.

Nothing good can come of contact with a man who abused you.

You took initiative and found the strength to leave him. Build on that strength and freedom to give you and your baby the life you deserve.

Starlightstarbright1 · 01/01/2023 23:49

No life will be easier for you both without himin it why haven't you blocked.

Btw.. he doesn't love you, just wants you back under his control... protect your dd

Dancingdragonhiddentiger · 01/01/2023 23:51

Don’t tell him

MissMaple82 · 01/01/2023 23:57

Don't tell him. Block him and carry on your peaceful life. Once you tell him you open up a whole big can of nasty worms and your life will become a mess. Once your daughter is old enough to understand you van then tell her the truth and let her decide what she wants to do. But right now you must protect both yourself and your daughter.

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/01/2023 23:58

Block him. No reason at all to still be in contact, what are you thinking?

allthelittlelights · 01/01/2023 23:59

Don't tell him. He doesn't really care about you. Block him.

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 02/01/2023 00:00

Omg.block him. He is texting you because he knows tgere is half a chance you'll let him come.back,and do it all,again. Dont let that happen...for u,or your child. Block him and change your number if you have to so you,have no way of getting in touch with him ever again.

Bestcatmum · 02/01/2023 00:01

For Gopd's sake don't tell him, imagine if he goes for 50% custody or uses the child to get at you.
Block him and make sure he never finds you.
My DS's father made our lives a living hell for years.

emilyelf · 02/01/2023 00:05

Oh please don't tell him, he will bring you and your dd nothing but grief.

Original poster
Strongerthaneve · 02/01/2023 07:29

Thank you so much for your answer. I needed support. I blocked him on everything but he messages me from fake accounts. He is trying to manipulate me again and I had a weak stupid moment of thinking about telling him about my girl.

OP posts:
Original poster
Strongerthaneve · 02/01/2023 07:30

I blocked him he uses fake accounts to contact me.

OP posts:
MiddleOfTheNightAgain · 02/01/2023 07:32

Never tell him. It would be the worst thing to do to your child. It would cast a shadow over her life forever.

Original poster
Strongerthaneve · 02/01/2023 10:26

I did block him but he texted me from a fake account Thank you all for your responds. I needed it. I had a moment when I was feeling guilty that she won’t have a dad. He tried to manipulate me again saying he regrets everything and he has changed but at the same time He refused to go to therapy he completely denies the fact that the abuse he received from his parents made him an abuser too. And trauma bond is stronger than I thought. Thank you everyone for reminding me that me and my little one are happy and safe.

OP posts:
Anotheryearsameshitshow · 02/01/2023 10:30

Knowing he is a df won't morph him onto a great one. And if your dd can't have a great one then no df is better. My dd is 33 and says she hasn't missed out at all.

Starlightstarbright1 · 02/01/2023 15:47

I would change your phone number.. you can stop people adding you on s.media..definitely keep Dd off S.media too. X

HowcanIhelp123 · 03/01/2023 20:00

Change phone number, get new accounts on social media under a different name (e.g. your middle name or mums maiden name instead of your surname he knows). Never put daughter on social media. He can't contact you from fake accounts if he doesn't know they exist.

OhcantthInkofaname · 21/05/2023 21:28

Strongerthaneve · 02/01/2023 07:30

I blocked him he uses fake accounts to contact me.

Change your number!

Daisypain · 21/05/2023 21:31

DreamingOfAGreenChristmas · 01/01/2023 23:45

Does he know where you are?

Honestly, block him. Lock down all your social media and mutual friends. Don’t make public posts about your baby etc.

Nothing good can come of contact with a man who abused you.

You took initiative and found the strength to leave him. Build on that strength and freedom to give you and your baby the life you deserve.

This
This over and over again

Do not risk telling him. The abuse will start again. She and you both deserve a life free of it.

msssm · 21/05/2023 21:46

Zombie thread 🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️

New posts on this thread. Refresh page