Exs parents

[Flowerpower97]

Ex not been part of children's life's in nearly 3 years his choice. But once a year his parents want to come into my home and visit. I've offered them to have children but it's always been a no. Tbh there is no bond there. Youngest had autism so they won't deal with them. But I feel like it's like spying for him . Keeping that link there. I don't feel comfortable. Like it's keeping that link open. I am worried telling them no it'll push them to push him to take me to court. Would you have exs parents still coming around. Of course they don't see any wrong in the abuse we've suffered from their son course they're not going to. Its their son. But it's just all so false and it's triggering me and making me uncomfortable am I being unreasonable? I cancelled said I was ill but I'm going have to suck it up one day this week and have them over. But how am I ever meant to move on .

You are entitled to say no to them visiting your home. I would be firm and tell them you are not comfortable with them visiting your home. Offer them to meet grand kids in a park. Take it or leave it. Firm boundaries always.

I suggested that but his mum don't like the cold or busy places. She said it is . Easier to come here🙈

I have put up with it for years. So it's one day but I'm at the point thinking why am I still living my life around this and pleasing other people. If it benefited the children and they wanted to then fair enough but it don't. I get such am easy feeling everytime and watching what I say as it'll get twisted. I said I was ill but I am too much of a pussy to say no for good maybe I'll just ignore my phone 🙃

Arrange to meet somewhere like soft play or a cafe, tell them you are having decorating done or something or make the excuse you need to get out after being stuck in all Christmas, don't ask, tell them & have an "appointment" to limit the time you are with them.

Sounds very stressful. Honestly I wouldn't worry about court, Grandparents have no automatic legal right to grandkids and while it is possible to have court ordered visitation rights it is a high threshold and a hugely expensive process (for them). However, to make sure you are covered you can continue to offer the status quo (1 visit per year) at a reasonable alternative venue i.e. softplay, park or their house if you feel comfortable. Keep all communications polite, formal and firm and make sure you don't delete them.

There is no way a judge will order that their one visit a year must be in your home. Don't let them bully you or walk over you, you absolutely do not need to allow them in your house.

Tbh it should be up to the ex to sort his familys access but i applaud you being the bigger person. (While youre on it, are you claiming cms?)