Feeling left out of ex’s family

[Yellowducksarecute]

he broke up with me in September. He has my daughter at his family Christmas gathering without me I’m the only one not there I feel so shut out and abandoned like I’m dead to them. It’s hard to express how I feel about it. He seems perfectly happy to not have me there which makes it worse. His brothers have girlfriends and they’re there too probably getting on swell… it’s just hurtful my own daughter is there she’s only 2 I hate sharing her with him and his family :( they’re heartless people they don’t know how hurtful it all is. His dad dressed up as Santa I took my daughter to see Santa at Dobbies and now they’re doing that idky I just feel upset and left out like I don’t matter even though I’m the one who brought her into the world and raised her myself when he didn’t help at all.

I can imagine that must feel very upsetting feeling like you are sharing her and you are being left out. If it was more civil and friendly, you probably wouldn't feel as bad. Would you be able to have a heart to heart and try to make things civil for the sake of your little one and for you both moving forwards?
Do you include him in gatherings with your family and daughter as well?

It is it’s heartbreaking everything he’s done to me makes me feel suicidal :(
He said he’ll come back and be home next year to live with us again but I don’t get why he can’t have a nice Christmas together for our daughter it’s infuriating

@Yellowducksarecute I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have been in your position & it is one of the most emotionally painful things I've ever had to deal with in my life.

It does get easier...

Please know that although awful, your emotions given the situation are sadly very 'normal'. Be kind to yourself, eat good food, rest, try to get outside / go for a walk. Say to yourself that this feeling will pass, this situation will pass...your DD will be home soon.

I'm so sorry he's made you feel this way and that you feel shut out. I do agree with the person who said it gets better over time. Be kind to yourself during this difficult time and gather as much support as you can. ❤️

I guess the best way to think about it is would you invite him to your family for Xmas? It’s hard but start as you mean to go on and don’t give mixed messages by spending Xmas together it’s best in the long run.

It does feel really shitty. I remember sending my little girl off for her “family birthday party” without me. I spent my late teens and 20’s with them every weekend so the sudden cut-off felt brutal.

It does get easier! You have to make your own special traditions and also fill your life up with your own new lovely people and activities. It takes some time.