Checking in as exH is doing his annual "life is so unfair and you're a psycho" rant.
It's his turn to have the DC for Christmas this year but it's a bit complicated. Social services are involved due to his poor/neglectful/emotionally abusive parenting and have recommended supervised contact, or at a minimum that we check he's sober and coherent when he collects them for a day out. He lives a 4-hour drive away with his sister (Sister2). He's done no overnights at all this year due to the above issues and day contact has been patchy at best.
The plan was for him to stay locally and see the DC every day from Christmas Day to the 27th while they stayed overnight here. A few days ago he said he couldn't afford it and proposed taking them to his (nice, sensible, reliable) Sister1's house for the three days. We thought it through and agreed. He told the DC and they got all excited. Then we found out from DD that his sister won't actually be there and some random man is going staying for a couple of days while they're there. WTAF?! So we questioned this and his other (also nice etc.) Sister2 offered to have them all, to which we agreed.
Then exH kicks off because "we've ruined his Christmas plans" and are "making him drive 500 miles". FFS. We said he can stick to the original plan (see them every day while they stay here), take them to stay at Sister2's or leave them here for Christmas with us. He's not happy but has decided to take them to Sister2's.
He's such a PITA. 1) Sort your life out so you are capable of being a decent parent. 2) Organise yourself to either live closer to your DC or at least afford to see them. 3) Stop being dishonest. 4) When everyone else runs around compromising and sorting out problems for you, don't throw a tantrum and accuse us of being mean.
Feel free to vent; this isn't AIBU.