Would a solicitor advise this?

user1471508872 · 2022-12-22T16:32:39+00:00

Would a solicitor ever advise a parent to completely cut all contact with the other parent and block on all forms of communication so that there could be no contact at all even in an emergency (children unwell, injured etc) Thanks.

BadShepherd · 22/12/2022 16:35

I don’t see why not - the police told me to do this.

vodkaredbullgirl · 22/12/2022 16:35

Depends on why they want to cut out of their lives.

Original poster

user1471508872 · 22/12/2022 17:16

vodkaredbullgirl · 22/12/2022 16:35

Depends on why they want to cut out of their lives.

There’s absolutely no reason to cut all contact unless of course the solicitor has been told a bunch of lies (entirely possible)

OP posts:

vodkaredbullgirl · 22/12/2022 17:44

user1471508872 · 22/12/2022 17:16

There’s absolutely no reason to cut all contact unless of course the solicitor has been told a bunch of lies (entirely possible)

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Who's solicitor has suggested this?

Martialisthebestpup · 22/12/2022 17:47

Are you the other parent or someone else? (Other parent’s partner or family member)?
If you’re not the other parent remember it’s also possible you have been told a bunch of lies/not been told important truths.

Stressfordays · 22/12/2022 17:51

Mine did. I wasn't telling any lies though but my ex would tell everyone I was.

BadShepherd · 22/12/2022 17:55

My money’s On OP being the ex or the MIL.

Original poster

user1471508872 · 22/12/2022 17:59

Martialisthebestpup · 22/12/2022 17:47

Are you the other parent or someone else? (Other parent’s partner or family member)?
If you’re not the other parent remember it’s also possible you have been told a bunch of lies/not been told important truths.

I am the other parent. Received a solicitor letter from him in July, my solicitor replied in August, nothing back from his solicitor since so I assumed he dropped it as he realised I wasn’t going to just back down. (He has no interest in actually seeing the kids, he wants to try and regain contact with the children so he feels like he has some control over my life again)

Anyway on Tuesday I was out with my mother who mentioned my ex had told her he had been told to block and delete me on everything by his solicitor. He also spouted a load of other lies about me being a gambling addict and having mental health issues and being responsible for all of his debt. This is since I went to the CMA and he can no longer control me with money, telling lies about me is clearly his new trick. He is the one with mental health issues and he is also an alcoholic.

i just wanted to know if a solicitor would suggest this as my anxiety is through the roof since my DM told me on Tuesday about this as I hate having to have the solicitors etc involved and wish he would just finally leave me alone.

OP posts:

Original poster

user1471508872 · 22/12/2022 18:02

Also forgot to mention he’s said all this after he tried to contact me at 2am at the end of November! He’s also just moved 300 mile away!

My initial thoughts were the solicitor has said nothing, and he’s blocked me so he doesn’t try and contact me, now I’m not sure.

OP posts:

Stressfordays · 22/12/2022 18:05

It sounds like the solicitor advised him to block you and not contact you and to just go through court.

Soontobe60 · 22/12/2022 18:17

Why is he telling your mother all of this?
A solicitor may well advise a client to cut all contact with an ex, but would probably say they need some way of communicating if children are involved, which could be through a 3rd party.

Original poster

user1471508872 · 22/12/2022 18:21

Stressfordays · 22/12/2022 18:05

It sounds like the solicitor advised him to block you and not contact you and to just go through court.

He also said his mother had explained the situation to me, she hasn’t, I’ve not even spoke to her lately other than when she has messaged to try and arrange handing over Xmas presents etc, but we didn’t even mention ex.

OP posts:

Original poster

user1471508872 · 22/12/2022 18:24

Soontobe60 · 22/12/2022 18:17

Why is he telling your mother all of this?
A solicitor may well advise a client to cut all contact with an ex, but would probably say they need some way of communicating if children are involved, which could be through a 3rd party.

Probably because he knows it will get back to me. It was all late at night so he was also probably drunk.

12 years I put up with his abuse and I thought it would be over when I left, but here we are 3 years later and he’s still finding ways to try and get to me.

OP posts:

Martialisthebestpup · 22/12/2022 18:53

So he’s not seeing the kids at all? And has blocked you on everything?
That’s an odd thing to do.
If there’s a proper emergency (eg. Joint child in hospital) then tell him via his mum or if that doesn’t work, his solicitor.
Otherwise enjoy the peace and quiet and wait for a court date?

Original poster

user1471508872 · 22/12/2022 19:38

Martialisthebestpup · 22/12/2022 18:53

So he’s not seeing the kids at all? And has blocked you on everything?
That’s an odd thing to do.
If there’s a proper emergency (eg. Joint child in hospital) then tell him via his mum or if that doesn’t work, his solicitor.
Otherwise enjoy the peace and quiet and wait for a court date?

No he’s not seeing the kids, hasn’t for almost two years. My solicitor wrote offering for him to have indirect contact with the children but there has been nothing from his solicitor and that letter was sent in august.

Im hoping the peace lasts but from history it won’t. Maybe he’s planning on how to work his way out of paying the CMA since he used to always threaten me if I tried to go through them he would quit his job and make sure no one could find him!

OP posts:

Martialisthebestpup · 23/12/2022 11:01

He might quit his job etc to avoid paying child maintenance. There’s nothing you can do to force him to work and manage his finances responsibly.
All the rest of the game playing I think you can safely ignore. Him telling you via your mum that he’s blocked you on everything because his solicitor told him to + pack off lies about your financial situation is just irrelevant. It’s not even a solicitor’s letter. It’s just him trash talking you to whoever will listen. If he does get his act together enough to go to court or request contact in a reasonable way via his solicitor then you need to pay attention to that. (sounds like it would need to be indirect at first? Or supervised? You know your own situation and what has been advised legally/court ordered.) But anything else is just irrelevant nonsense you don’t have to engage with.