Someone talk to me

[ruby123!]

Is anyone a single parent with a newborn?!? I'm going crazy and I need someone to talk to

I was a single parent to two babies, what do you want to talk about?

I was, newborn stage was the most boring stage, it’s when you start getting some interaction back and a-bit more sleep it starts to get better.

Yes not now though but My ex left me when I was pregnant so I had a newborn and 3 other kids under 7

I freak out on a night in case she won't settle

I was. Was a lone parent from 3 months pregnant with an older one too. It can feel really isolating. Do you have any support? Get people round to hold the baby so you can sleep/eat/shower. It passes eventually and when you get into a routine it's definitely more manageable!

How old is she? It can take a while to find their routine and it in the meantime it doesn’t matter, clean, fed, warm and that includes you is all that matters. I used to nap during the day, who cares.

Everything else will come at some point, you must not put pressure on yourself. It’s tough on your own in the early days especially this time of year.

I had a friend who insisted I should have a routine, a married friend with family support, once I realised only myself and my daughters needs mattered it made a huge difference to my mental health. I was a bit free range but with that came less pressure and more happiness.

I remember being on my own Christmas Day with a 5 month old, she is now 18 and I look back and honestly wished I’d never stressed about the small stuff. X

I was/am a single parent and have been since I was pregnant, although my DD is now older. Have you had the baby yet and are worried about the future or do you have concerns now the baby is here we can help you try and navigate?

One thing I have noted that single parent or not a lot of women seem to draw the short straw at night time and so you will not be alone in feeling a bit lonely or isolated at night time.

In the early days it's best to remember to be kind to yourself, have a sleep in the day time if you're feeling tired. I got paranoid about the house being tidy, decent meals etc and then realised no one had actually been in my house for a couple of days so what did it matter! You'll be surprised how quickly this time passes and your into the next phase...which will bring the next worries!!

Ah I see, I did all the night feeds anyway as was bf, there is no pressure to get into a routine it takes time and it’s still early days.

Thank you everyone! So my baby is now 4 weeks old. I think she has reflux and she struggles to settle. Once she settles she's good as gold and she's generally happy but I find myself getting anxious if I can't settle her.

The night time seem so long and hard. I'm running off little sleep so even just the easiest tasks just seem like an absolute chore.

I also have a lot of support from family and friends but I'm also struggling with that as I feel like I'm putting on people.

Thanks for all your help and kind words

I'm definitely pressuring myself with a routine.. everyone around me says how their child sleeps through the night. Or say how unsettled my child seems and it worries me!

Oh god honestly ignore those who say their child sleeps through the night, i don’t actually know why someone would say that if they know it’s not the case for another, one thing you’ll find is the concept of competitive parenting, it’s all very dull.

You might have a wonderful toddler and they’ll have a nightmare 😜 all children develop at different rates and sometimes when you think you’ve cracked it, a cold or teething sets it back. Just enjoy the newborn snuffling and you do you. X

A 4 week old does not sleep through the night, the ones that say say are either very lucky or lying!!!

At this stage you don’t need to worry so much about the routine, maybe around 3/4 months when naps are more structured. Right now give yourself a break. Definitely ask for help, I found a lot of people actually liked to be asked to do things that offer some practical help, I had a c-section so had to ask my neighbour to hang some washing n wizz the hoover around and they didn’t mind in the slightest. Again, it’s such a short time n then everyone finds there feet n you’ll forget about the newborn craziness.

Remember to ask the HV support, especially if you think the baby has reflux, there are things that can help.

It can be lonely but if you do need a chat or a rant just ping the thread n I’m sure someone will have some answers, and whatever you think, you’re doing a great job!

I have never known a child to sleep through the night at 4 weeks. No way. Also l remember mine got very unsettled every evening about 7 to 9 and then settled to sleep. That is a very testing time as you feel this is it for the night and you are tired yourself
Could any of your family sleep over with you even for one night at the weekend so you have company and maybe some extra sleep.
And yes to being in baby's routine. They sleep..you sleep. Day or night!

Totally ingore the people that say theirs is sleeping through the night. For numerous reasons, 1) they might be now, but does mean they will be in a few months time!! 2) they probably mean it's sleeping 12am-4pm or some other ridiculous definition of sleeping through the night 3) they have a different baby, what theirs does doesn't really have any relevance to what yours does as all babies are different

I never did any sleep training and he sleeps really well now (has done since 6 months). I know lots of people that spent countless hours and stress with sleep training and they still have lots of trouble with wake ups and bedtime struggles. And also did most naps in carrier and pram till 9 months. After that he slept fine in the cot for naps!

As a single parent with a newborn you need a survival strategy. Can someone come and give a bottle in the evening so you can go to bed early (8/9pm) and at least get a few hours sleep. What are you doing about food?

Mine also had reflux, it's really really hard and feel like will go on forever but I promise you it won't! Try a carrier / stretchy wrap for daytime naps as they prefer being upright with reflux.

On the evening bottle suggestion, if you're breastfeeding it would be a good idea to express the milk for that if poss (rather than formula) so it doesn't effect your milk supply