Christmas Day

[talawalawoo]

Hi all,

Looking for some advice. I split with my ex around 6 months ago after around 5 years together. For context, he isn't always straightforward and has controlling tendencies. We have a 2 year old together, I also have 2 older children from a previous relationship. This is our first Christmas apart. This year, I have my two older children with me for Christmas and for this reason would like all of the children to be together this year if possible. He's really passive about having a proper structure for contact normally ( for everybody's benefit so everyone is clear where they are) and asked me what the plan was for Christmas. I mentioned to him I would like all of the children to be together so he's welcome to come round on Christmas Day and we can arrange other times over the holidays for contact that works for us both. He can come round as early as he wants on Christmas Day but tbh I would prefer to have the evening to myself and from next year maybe do alternate Christmases. He had said it's his right to see our little one from the moment they wake up on Christmas Day to when they go to bed but I'm sorry I honestly don't think I could deal with him all that time (he would be alluding to staying over as she wakes up early) and I know based on how he is he would be pushing to either stay very late or stay over.

What do the rest of you do when your little one is so young? I thought I was being amicable by having him over the majority of the day as want everyone including him to have a nice time but feel he's pushing it already!

TIA

Our Christmas set up is one parent has the child Christmas Eve - Christmas Day afternoon. Then the other parent has Christmas Day afternoon- Boxing Day.

This arrangement switches between parents each year so the child gets to see both parents equally.

I understand he might not like it, but it's all part of separating and co-parenting.

I've never heard of the ex spending the day together tbh!

Thanks that definitely something to consider.

Dh has his court ordered as his ex was not allowing xmas.
He has xmas eve evening to xmas day evening one year
Xmas day evening to boxing day evening

Rest of xmas break to be split equally. With 3 months notice but tends to be 1st week of holidays from collection at school and return xnas night. Then xmas night through to return to school the following year

All school holidays are court ordered 50/50 with specific dates and times as she would mess about.

Birthdays whichever parent they are not with that day gets 3 hours with them.

I have invited my ex round for the day the last couple of years for the same reasons as you. I send him a text when the kids wake up and he heads over. Leaves around tea time. When they're older we'll probably split it as an alternate thing but for now this works well for us all.

I'd keep up the offer of he's welcome round Xmas day from them waking up until say 4/5pm and the rest of the holidays you're happy to split.

You def don't have to have him round overnight. Perhaps say to him after this Xmas you can plan something that's set for the long term.