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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Should I be going every day?

2 replies

SpinningFloppa · 08/11/2022 13:54

My dad is a wheelchair user, recently he had a fall in his house and he wasn’t found for 3 days. He is in hospital at the moment he is fine not injured physically but it’s for observation and because of how long he was on the floor without water I’ve been up the hospital every single day since apart from one day but the trouble is my mum seems to be expecting me to go up every single day, obviously I’ve tried my best but I have 4 children and I’m really struggling taking them up every day.
My oldest has asd and can be difficult to keep her quiet on the ward which is obviously full of other patients. Not to mention 4 kids on and off buses in the rain. I spent both Saturday and Sunday up the hospital so barely got anything done I didn’t do anything with them all weekend which I feel bad about, the weather is also bad meaning I dragging 4 kids up in the rain. I’ve brought him shopping up and I’ve done what I can but daily? Am I expected to go every day? She messages me every day asking if I’m going

OP posts:
ItsDinah · 10/11/2022 06:02

The norm is a visitor every day. It's not always possible. Families often take turns. If you are the only family member,there is a problem. Perhaps your mother could visit,with or without one of more grandchild or babysit while you visit or go with you to help with the children. Your mum maybe wants to know what's happening or is trying to show concern rather than meaning you have to go every day. If you are a SAHM and the only visitor, it is reasonable to visit every day. If you are working out the house from 8am to 6pm and have primary age children you would be reasonable to cut back if your mum won't babysit, and concentrate on long visits on each of Saturday and Sunday. The days you don't go,phone the ward to ask after your dad;phone him and send him cards. That should stop him feeling too neglected.

helloisitmeyourelookingfor · 10/11/2022 06:40

I'm confused

Is your mum with your dad because if she is then how was he not found for 3 days -and if she's not how on earth is it her business what happened around visiting your dad?

You can only do what you can do and you need to look after yourself otherwise you can't look after anyone else

And I'm sorry to anyone who thinks I'm callous but the needs of your children at this age trumps the needs of your dad

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