So me and my ex split up 10 years ago when my son was 1, at that time he was in nursery and I had him all the time and my ex had him every other weekend, we agreed on £35 a week maintenance for him even though that was not enough as I bought all his clothes etc. He got a new partner 4 years ago, they have been on and off, he has now moved in with her, since covid due to him not working and I worked in the NHS so I had to carry on working it was agreed that he didn't have to pay me maintenance but could he have him so I can work, this was agreed. His new partner has a 12 year old and they have become best friends, they go to football together etc, I work nights and now my son is at senior school he gets the bus, he stays at his on a Sunday night, his dad drops him at the bus stop in the morning and he gets the bus back to mine and I give him his tea and then drop him to his dads before I go to work Monday night, again this happens Monday and Tuesday night and when he comes back to mine Wednesday afternoon I keep him. His dad also has him every other weekend so I get a couple of nights every fortnight for myself. I always have to take clothes to his dads as he doesn't have anything there for him, he has to share a bedroom when he's there with her son whereas he has his own room at my house a wardrobe full of clothes, I pay for his football subs and all the things he needs for that, I pay for all his school clothes he never gave me anything towards the school uniform this year, I pay for his dinner money at school, his contribution is feeding him when has him on his weekend and that's all.
My reason for posting this is lately he says he wants to live with his dad, when he's there he is constantly playing out playing football and down the park, he never gets homework done when he is there, when he is at mine homework is priority before we do anything fun, we go to the cinema, have fun days out but I can't do something with him 24/7 as I have a house and a full time job, I'm taking my son to new york for Xmas, over the holidays we did lots of things together, he says his dad never does anything with him and it's just his friend that is making him want to stay as he doesn't have any friends where I live, it's breaking my heart that everything I do and have done for him and his dad does bare minimum and he wants to stay there, I beleive legally he can't make that decision anyway but now his dad is saying its up to my son and I'm being unreasonable. Anyone else's views would be appreciated 😢