How do you date?

[AFeastForCrows]

After being on my own for 2 years I’ve finally found someone I click with online. We’ve been chatting for a while now and I’d love to meet up with him however I am on my own with 2 small children. Their dad doesn’t have them at all and I work full time. The man I’m talking to also has a couple of DC who he has EOW and some after school etc.

The only way of doing it would be to invite him round one evening once my DC are in bed 😬 I’d never introduce someone quickly to my children so this seems the only way. My parents live a few hours away and I don’t feel comfortable having a babysitter, I don’t think my DC would either because they aren’t used to being looked after by anyone but me 🤦🏻‍♀️

any advice please?

I wouldn't invite him round before you've met him initially as that could be a real safety concern. Is there anyone who could mind your children for you? A friend of yours who they know? A teaching assistant they know who might be interested in babysitting?

I would definitely hire a babysitter over having some fella off the internet knowing where you live!

I've dated loads of people - sometimes for months and sometimes for less.

A horrible percentage have turned out to be mad and/or bad men which I regretted having them know where I lived.

If you have children I would strongly caution you against inviting someone you've not yet met to your home. And also my own personal guidance is to wait until you have dated someone in real life for at least 6 months before they meet your children. I stick by this and mine are teens not needing a babysitter.

Thank you both - that was what I was thinking. I can’t have a strange man in my house but I also can’t leave the house once the DC are in bed 🤦🏻‍♀️

dating as a lone parent is difficult! Will continue to think of ways around it and just have FaceTime chats for now 😊

totally agree about not introducing someone to my DC - I don’t need or want a replacement father figure for DC so no need for them to get involved any time soon. Would just be nice to have adult conversation once in a while 😁

Get a local trusted 6th former to babysit once a week for £10

Sorry op, but like the others say, your only way around this is getting your children used to having someone else to look after them. Whether that's family, friends or hired help. Or lunch time dates, but that only works at the beginning, and isn't a viable long term option.

A babysitter, where do you know this man from? You can’t seriously be asking if it’s ok to bring round a stranger whilst your children are at home? Even if they are in bed! How will You date going forward anyway If you never have any free time? I don’t think most men are going to be happy only ever coming over to yours at night unless it’s just for sex anyway.

You need a babysitter and patience! Absolutely echo that no man should be invited to your house unless you have met him over and over again elsewhere and he has proved to your repeatedly that he is a good positive addition to your children's lives. This could take years, no reason you can't have some fun in the meantime.

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss when did you last find a babysitter for £10?

The going rate round here is £5 per hour for teens.

2 x hours for a date = £10

Why does the kids' dad never have them. Mine doesn't either now they are teens but when they were smaller it was key to my sanity having kid-free times and I used it to have a romantic life outside of parenting.

Initially I would try to meet at lunchtime on a weekday or daytime on a weekend if you can persuade a friend to have them for a couple of hours. After a couple of dates then inviting him over might be the only option. Dp met my (much older) child on our 3rd date

I don't

I'm too lazy, and definitely do. It ever want another proper relationship
But I'm bitter and jaded.
I'm sure you're not

You get comfortable having a babysitter. The end.

(Where on earth did this notion that having a babysitter is in any way an irresponsible thing to do even come from? I see it on MN a lot and am just like "WTF have women dreamt up to punish themselves with NOW?!")

Hear hear!