7 months pregnant with our second child and OH left a month ago. Honestly the affair, when it came to light, was a relief as by that point I had endured months of emotional abuse, passive aggression and gaslighting from OH. We have a 2 year old DD who has been simply amazing through this and is keeping me going. I guess I’m just looking for some words of comfort and encouragement that it will all be - relatively speaking - okay? Objectively, I know I am better off without his presence in my life (at least as a romantic partner, can’t avoid dealing with him completely as we’ll be co-parenting). But I am terrified of doing the newborn thing again alone with a toddler as well, even though he did practically nothing whilst he was here and oozed resentment and rage whenever we were were alone (nice as pie if anyone else was around!).
I am also worried about the implications for my children of having him as a father. Our couple’s therapist, to whom I shall be forever grateful, is convinced he is a covert narcissist. Having done my own research, the description seems to fit unnervingly well. He is loved by everyone, but I feel like I have been walking on eggshells for years, turning myself inside out to make him happy whilst he oh-so-rationally assassinated my character, chucking in intermittent kindness so that I doubted the reality of my experience.
Has anyone got any positive stories of similar situations? Or simple words of comfort or support. I’m determined to be every bit as strong as he has been weak so that I can be the best mum I can possibly be for my two babies and fill their life with joy, love and laughter. But boy, is it scary at times.
Thank you xxx