I left my ex 3.5 years ago, he’s very controlling, manipulative and moody and I was alway tip toeing around him. We share a ds who is 4 and lives with me full time. There has been periods of no contact due ex not coping with ds cry8ng for me when upset (when he was a toddler) and he would bring him back within minutes or call me up demanding that I pick him up. However after a cooling off period, it got better and ds started having a sleepover once a fortnight but then all of a sudden didn’t want to go. Then my ex would just take him out for the day once a fortnight. Recently ex tried again to get ds to go for sleepover and I spoke to ds about it positively but the minute his dad turned up he went quiet and refused to go. This time ex dealt with it calmly but his communication (which is alway only by text) turned very basic so I knew he was cross with me. Prior to this he had agreed to share childcare with me in half term and I agreed that he could look after ds at my place while I was at work. He’s been blatantly rude to me, I nearly sent him away yesterday when he came in and quietly said hello to ds, who’s face dropped and twice asked are you happy to see me, to which he replied that he was but was still upset about him not coming for a sleepover (3 weeks ago). I think it’s okay to have a conversation about it but my ex did this deliberately to make ds feel bad and in my opinion he is teaching him to tip toe around him/watch his mood. They soon started playing and I wen to work. Today went I got back I asked a simple questi’n which he completely twisted and he stated calling me rude, that he’d had a chat with ds who had told him that I had said that if he didn’t want to go and stay at his dad he didn’t have to and what a disgusting mother I was to bring our ds up like that. He then said he had taken time out of work to help me with childcare which he didn’t have to do, at which point I said fine, don’t come her tomorrow, I don’t want this sort of behaviour in my own home. Before he left he said sometimes you really deserve a smack in the mouth. My ds heard this and once the door was closed he said “you don’t deserve a smack in the mouth mummy”. I feel awful that my ds overheard all of this, I tried to usher my ex out of the door and not engage in his conversation. At bedtime we talked about our day and ds said he’d had fun until I came home and his dad said horrible things to me. He said he knew he had done nothing wrong but his dad did by the way he spoke to me. I tried not to make a big thing of it but at the same time I want him to understand that it’s not acceptable behaviour.
sorry for this being so long but my question is what can I do? Do I contact a family solicitor? I have been really accommodating and supportive over the years, I always talk positively to ds about his dad but I won’t put up with this behaviour anymore. Any words of wisdom please?