Mum guilt

[Tjones18]

The past couple of weeks have been hard, I stopped contact between my child and there father over a year ago now and I have a restraining order in place for my child’s safety. Does anyone else ever feel so guilty for giving there child the wrong father? I hate to say it but when I see other men being good fathers it absolutely breaks my heart knowing my child will never experience that. Does it get easier with time? Do you stop caring in the end? Most of the time it doesn’t bother me as I know it’s for mine and my child’s safety but sometimes i want to contact him and his family and let them know how my daughters getting on and let them see her but I know it’s not safe so I’d never do it. Is it has anyone else ever been in this situation?

Is or has*

Yeah, my ex still has supervised contact but I totally share those feelings. I think it helps if the child can have other positive male adults in their lives like grandad, uncles? My daughters don't have much family around and it's heartbreaking but I do my very best for them and make sure we create lovely family memories together. But I too feel guilt and sadness. Remind yourself though that there are many successful thriving people in life who grew up with only one loving parent.

And don't try to look at others thinking they have the perfect family life, we don't know what goes on behind closed doors. My ex always made sure he looked like a doting father and husband externally but in private he was incredibly abusive.

Yes I find it very hard. My children haven't seen their father for several years, there is a no contact order in place.
It's never really got any easier and the children still miss him and ask after him. But I fill their lives with other positive things. I am how ever doubtful that I will truly get over the guilt.

You didn't give your children the wrong father. He chose to behave as he did. It's on him, not you.

A childhood can be fabulous without complying with rigid specifics. My ds is happy. He's at a school he likes. He has space and security, nice home, good food, out of school activities, a wider family group, and a parent who loves and cares for him.

Yes it would be great if he had two parents who gave him that, it would provide a bit of backup should anything bad happen to me, but I've got him this far without missing a pace and no plans for that to change. Far better he live in a happy home with one parent, than be miserable with two.

Thankyou everyone x