How do I support my daughter in coming to terms with her DF refusing to see her?
long story short… CMS have gone for a liability order to recover nearly £3k in unpaid maintenance. For years he has lid a pitiful amount of £65 per week because he’s self employed and doesn’t declare all his income. Last year when they did their annual review, he had for some unknown reason declared his proper income on his tax return so his payments were set at over £300 per month. But he continued to pay the £65. They eventually went onto collect and pay which he ignored and eventually have applied for a LO.
when he got the notice he contacted my mum (we have no contact … long story!) and basically just got abusive about me and his parting shot was “I’m not having DD anymore, I’m taking (me) to court for 50:50 so I don’t have to pay her anything”. This was early June. He’s now not seen her since.
short backstory, this isn’t the first time he’s disappeared out of her life. During 2020 when covid was happening, he disappeared from April until December when I eventually text saying DD was upset saying she doesn’t have a daddy anymore. In January he started seeing her again. He has her every other Saturday (no overnights) and since then I’ve offered more (ie alternate Sundays in addition to alternative Saturdays).m and time in school hols. He ignored every time.
so whilst she loves him, I wouldn’t say she is overly bonded to him. However she is starting to ask questions as to why she hasn’t seen him and making excuses for him , maybe it’s work, maybe it’s x,y,z. I’ve done everything I can to assure her it’s nothing she’s done, but that mummy, nanny and grandad are all blocked so can’t contact him at the moment and I am sure that just like he came back before, he will come back again this time. What else can I do to help her deal with this? I’m devastated for her 😢