So hectic with newborn that forgot to shower again... Is this normal?

[HelenasMom]

Hi all!
My 6 weeks old baby girl keeps my hands full to a point that I barely find the time to shower or eat. The lack of sleep and constant struggles with breastfeeding demand most of my time and energy. I've been trying to breastfeed every 2 hours but I feel she doesn't nurse enough and cries 30min after being fed.
It's the second or third time now that the day is over and I didn't shower. I don't have willpower to change into clean clothes or look less like a zombie.
I'm just wondering if this is normal and if you fellow moms out there have any advice...

Yes and no - you have to prioritise your basic needs sometimes. I used to shower first thing in the morning when my DH was still home with the baby. Make sure you have somewhere safe to put baby when you need to go to the toilet or grab something easy to eat. Have a refillable cup on the go. You'll get ill and by extension not care for your child properly if you don't look after yourself, so really work out how you can! It's not selfish. It sounds like you're doing a great job.

Do you set any reminders? Or how did you build the habit. I feel I'm constantly in a rush

no I showered daily even with 4 kids and a newborn and a lone parent but everyone is Different I wouldn’t leave the house without showering as I don’t feel clean otherwise

Sounds normal! It's tricky to juggle it all, especially in the early days when they just feed/sleep all the time. I made it a priority to shower and eat because it's important for your mental health and physical recovery.

At first I would shower when OH around to tend to baby. Then with my first baby I spent a lot of time showering very quickly while they cried in the bouncy chair. My second baby is much more chilled and will happily lay on her changing mat watching the shower water slide down the glass/looking at reflections in the radiator 😂. When they are older you can get up and shower before other half goes to work (or when they get back) as you are less zombie like and they are more settled/have more of a routine and not so reliant on you every minute of the day!

You'll find a way! Hang in there mumma, you are doing great x

Do you have a partner? If so you really need to be up and in that shower while he or she looks after the baby for half an hour in the morning. I think most people find if they don't get started really early then things like showers don't happen!

You can put clothes out for the next day while you're holding your baby. It really really helps if you are clean and dressed in the clean clothes. It's great for your mental health.

Huge congratulations on having the new baby! Many of us here are very jealous!

Lots of days in the first six weeks where I was in PJs all day, stuck to the sofa, BF on demand. With a screaming, no-napping baby, I just did whatever I could on any given day... Sometimes making a cup of tea was all I could achieve!

It's completely normal please don't worry. Not showering or changing clothes is okay but eating...grab something whilst you can. Have you got any help? From a partner?

I honestly feel for you and any mother with a newborn. It will get easier especially at the 3 month mark. Try not to worry and don't worry about housework, clean clothes or other things like that.

Do you sleep when baby is sleeping? The first few weeks that's the main thing.

My sister in law used to stick her bouncer in the bathroom whilst she showered/had a bath and spoke to baby whilst showering. It worked for her.

They can be very fussy at 6 weeks and it does tend to get better from about 2 months onwards in my experience.

That said I showered everyday, even with a toddler and a newborn and as a lone parent. Baby went in bouncy chair in bathroom and toddler came in shower or played on floor. It wasn't particularly relaxing but made me feel a lot better.

Baby goes in sling / bouncy chair / on playmat while I eat. I didn't always manage proper meals but always had something.

But all babies are different and I'm lucky that both of mine have been quite chilled overall, though there have been some tougher phases. If you have a baby who screams when put down I can see it being difficult. I've tried to put both mine down for naps in the crib from when they were quite young as it gives you a lot of time back (though having baby sleep on you can be lovely in the early days). Again, may not work if you have a less chilled baby.

I am sure there will be someone along to say they were a single mother of quads and still managed to look after themselves and have the babies in a routine by one week old. However, Babies all have different temperaments and some are way more demanding then others. You will find what works for you. The BF will get easier and the baby will start to be able to go longer between feeds and at 6 weeks you are nearly at end of the hardest part of the BF journey. For many of us the first few weeks pass by in a whirlwind of chaos, tiredness and if BF feeling like you will never again do anything other then BF. It gets easier it honestly does. I personally find newborn stage the hardest. My youngest is currently 10 months old and he is a bundle of mischief and energy but his cheeky smiles and cuddles melt my heart.
The days are long but the weeks and months fly by. You have this.

Hang in there! It gets easier and you’ll get more used to it. Lone parent here, I put them in their baby carrier in the bathroom so they could see and hear me (and me them) and timed it well. Easy food and things you can eat one handed were a godsend! Prioritize sleep above all. Missing some showers is fine in comparison. Good luck and enjoy your gorgeous baby x

I have a 7 week old, and I don't manage to shower on the days when my partner is in the office. In the earliest days even brushing my teeth was hard, and meals all got eaten late. At most I manage a quick flannel wash, which I think is enough. Try to ignore the people on here saying that it's dirty not to shower, lots of us are in the same boat and if you have a Velcro baby there's not much you can do.

Highly recommend a sling for getting housework done!

Thank you for the encouragement! It makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one with the struggle. Trying my best not to lose my mind on the way.

My baby is 9 weeks old and I can totally relate to how time consuming a small baby can be. It feels like an endless cycle of feeding and nappy changes. However I always made sure to grab a shower, for my own sanity if nothing else. Just having even 5 minutes away from the baby was great. Just had to time it for when he fell asleep and be quick. Having just gone through the 6-8 week growth spurt I know how hard it is to get anything done but I can assure you it gets easier once you get through that stage. My LO is now keen enough on sitting in his bouncer that I can use that and take him into the bathroom while I shower or go in the kitchen to make food. It gets easier, you're almost through the worst part of the newborn phase

It's totally normal in the first weeks, don't worry!!!