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Lone parents

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What's your opinion

2 replies

Stuckmum102 · 03/09/2022 01:26

So I co parent and I have been made aware that the ex is not going to have a permanent home. My concern he wants to keep having the children but it will be either at his brothers house or at his gfs house depending on who's house he is at,at the time. This in its self is not the issue. What is is that they will not have beds so will sleep on I don't know what. And possibly expected to share rooms with different sex children even though my children are through puberty. I just don't agree with that. Am I being too picky? The children have been told and all seem fine with the idea. Should I just stay quiet or wait and see I feel really stuck with my emotions about it all. I'm worried the children will get unsettled or anxious. I am worried that if i let them stay over im being a bad mum, but equally if i say no they have to come home at night so they have a bed to sleep on i am being just as bad because they like and enjoy spending time with their dad. What are your thoughts.

OP posts:
About10lbstogo · 06/09/2022 17:02

Similar situation here. No you certainly are not being too picky! It's very far from ideal.

However I've taken the approach that unless I'm genuinely concerned for their wellbeing, I'm going to let him have them overnight wherever he is. Not that I could stop him, but that I might try to report it (not exactly sure to where though!)

I've tried offering mattresses/blankets/heaters/other things to make them more comfortable.

Partly it's that I really need that time to get on top of things when the dc aren't with me, and also that it's good for them to be with him. He is a fairly reliable person.

Also I feel it makes it even more important that I stay put in the house they've always known, for stability.

knackeredagain · 06/09/2022 17:05

If they are past puberty, I think their opinion is most important here. They shouldn’t have to do anything they feel uncomfortable with (within reason - mine would argue they are uncomfortable with washing up!) If they enjoy going and are happy with the arrangements then I don’t think it is such an issue but they shouldn’t be made to go, or feel guilty if they would rather sleep in their own beds.

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