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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Age of child

14 replies

Jennisted · 31/08/2022 11:05

So I need to split with my partner, no ifs or buts about it but I have PND and am barely coping with his support. No friends or family and no time to build friendships.

Baby is 5 months old. Has 3 20 minute naps a day, snacks on bottle so is on and off it with 12 bottles needing cleaning a day. Prefers to be held most of the time. Wakes every 1-3 hours at night. High need baby basically.

I have 2 special need teens who don't clean up after themselves at all (can't push it or goal set either)need intense motivating and chasing to do anything at all (shower, homework, walk) and have dietary needs that require several meals to be cooked every day. One teen isn't attending school so is 24/7 care.
I am literally just a slave to these kids tbh I'm going a bit mad.

Around the babies first birthday they'll be easier, right?
Able to play more, eating so less bottles, less time attached to me?

Regret having the babe but can't turn back the clock. Can't really run away either so trying to forward plan.

Any advice appreciated. Help me hope. Please.

OP posts:

Bunda · 31/08/2022 11:06

Can the other parent(s) provide some relief?

Zuyi · 31/08/2022 11:08

Yes, definitely, babies get easier. Even by 9 months, they often start sleeping through, and even if they don't, they settle better.

I'm sorry, it sounds as though you could really do with some time off.

Zuyi · 31/08/2022 11:11

I mean, sometimes people start really simple solids at 4-6 months, don't they? The advice is always changing, but you could try some of that rice cereal?

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 31/08/2022 11:12

If you get some financial help for the SN dc could you get a few hours outside help? Even 2 hours from a cleaner or babysitter would give you a break.

Original poster

Jennisted · 31/08/2022 11:14

Bunda · 31/08/2022 11:06

Can the other parent(s) provide some relief?

There's 2 dad's. One for the teens and one for the baby.
Ex husband of 18 years was abusive, no contact there. Teens working through trauma.

And current partner has said and done some things recently that are horrendous and mean no unsupervised contact as well.

Bit of a sick joke life has played on me but I need to keep going and just get through.

OP posts:

Original poster

Jennisted · 31/08/2022 11:16

Zuyi · 31/08/2022 11:11

I mean, sometimes people start really simple solids at 4-6 months, don't they? The advice is always changing, but you could try some of that rice cereal?

I think I'll try some.
Baby is big and interested in food so I can't see the harm, might well do some good.

OP posts:

HereIfYouNeedMe · 31/08/2022 11:17

My friend got some really good support from the health visiting team, could you contact them at all and see if they have any suggestions? It sounds really tough and I suffered like you with my first. Once they start sleeping through and taking more milk it will get better and you'll have the strength to tackle everything else

MissyB1 · 31/08/2022 11:24

You need HV support, I appreciate resources are very limited these days though. What about charities like home start? Someone to help you cope and give ideas and also just listen.

HereIfYouNeedMe · 31/08/2022 16:55

⬆️ that's who my friend used ❤️

user77468264 · 31/08/2022 21:53

Definitely try solids now.
Find activities that the baby can do to keep them amused. Play mat, baby swing etc.

They do get more independent but I wouldn't say easier. The challenges just change but they do get more fun :)

Zuyi · 02/09/2022 01:53

How's it going, Jennisted? Did you try solids? I hope your baby has settled a bit.

Original poster

Jennisted · 02/09/2022 10:11

Zuyi · 02/09/2022 01:53

How's it going, Jennisted? Did you try solids? I hope your baby has settled a bit.

I did.
On day one she didn't open her mouth for the spoon. On day two she opened her mouth a few times but pushed out the food.
I don't think it was the tongue thrust reflex though, more so just her mouth movements when 'chewing' so will continue to try and get her used to it.

OP posts:

Original poster

Jennisted · 02/09/2022 10:16

user77468264 · 31/08/2022 21:53

Definitely try solids now.
Find activities that the baby can do to keep them amused. Play mat, baby swing etc.

They do get more independent but I wouldn't say easier. The challenges just change but they do get more fun :)

She has a swing, playmat and jumperoo and settles in one occasionally for 10 or so minutes.

OP posts:

Crunchingleaf · 02/09/2022 11:35

Hopefully things improve for you very soon. My 9 month old is definitely much easier now then he was at 5 months. Thanks to his two naps and he is sleeping through at night.
Its easy for me to say that nothing stays the same forever, but it’s true. The baby will get more independent.

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