Not really sure why I'm writing this, Things haven't been right with myself and my partner for a long time.. we are talking years, I still love him so much and this is the reason I've held on hope for so long that things will change. Our sex life slowly started to dwindle at the two year mark then it got to the point that it would only ever happen if I initiated it.. one night he actually looked up and said "come on then let's get it over and done with" which obviously massively hurt! I've always been pretty good with expressing my feelings towards him with how much intimacy means to me but he never changes, sometimes after I've bought it up he'll try it on that night and I decline as I don't want "pity sex". I can count on two hands the amount of times we've been intimate in the last three years, I've also had a few conversations with him about how much marriage means to me but still no proposal after 5 years together and two beautiful children. We ended up having a massive argument last night after he had looked up and said "alright mum" after I asked him if he was going to have his shower (he said he was going to have a shower at about 10pm and was still sat on his phone come 12).. I lost it and pretty much told him I had may aswell be his mum as I look after the house and kids, there's no sex life and no proposal in sight, that then lead to loads of pent up anger coming out in the form of spiteful stuff said.. It ended with me saying I don't think things were going to work, he broke down crying saying he didn't want to loose his children and I reassured him that I'd never be that malicious and keep them from him and that if he was only worried about that then he obviously didn't feel that strongly about me! 😶 anyway I basically ended up giving in and acted like everything was fine as usual but I know deep down that it's not and nothing will change, am I stupid for carrying this on knowing nothing will change?! He is an amazing dad and partner in every other sense but I've started to resent him so much for the above reasons.. if you made it to the end of this post then thanks for listening, from a very worn down mumma