Advise from the wise needed

[hopeahead]

I am hoping someone will share from their own experience how they've recovered from a long (six years) and acrimonious divorce?
I've been left with a lot of debt and four children.
Between working / parenting / school holidays
Kids constantly complaining they're bored.
Feelings of failure of not being able to meet the expectations of anybody.
There's no help available to be me, despite my best efforts i don't meet the threshold for anything.
I know these are going to be my toughest years I was just wondering if anyone would be able to share that there is a light at the end of this tunnel .

There is life at the end of the tunnel :D
In life it's common to celebrate beginning but in order for them to take place, there has to be ending.

Seperation with children is one of the biggest life event. Recovery can be a roller coaster and different for everyone. However it opens doors to new beginning. Think about what you can do now that you couldn't do before.

There will be tough moments during recovery but try to be positive about the small things. The world is what you perceive it to be in your head. You make your own reality.

Four kids is alot and you will undoubtedly be under pressure every hour of the day. Well done to you for powering through. You are a star!

Do you periodically invite people over for a play date? I find that kids are sometimes less grumpy or bored with eachother if there is a change of person - especially during long periods off school.

I second pp - you are a star! Raising four children and tending to all their needs, working, managing school holidays, chipping away at debt - you are doing really well but sometimes we just can't see it for ourselves.

Every night, think of five things that you have accomplished during the day (there will be way more than this obviously, but start with five) and really congratulate yourself on everything you have accomplished.

Thank you both for replying.

No I don't invite other children round for play dates.
This is where I really struggle.
I did not want children, my ex husband did.
I bought into his idea of "family" even though it went against what I wanted.
To keep everyone happy I went along with it.
Now I'm stuck with dare I say kids I didn't want (I really do try my best for them) he's disappeared and the idea of having other peoples kids under my feet fills me with fury!

I am constantly in a battle with myself for doing the best for these little people that have been put in a situation they had no say in and wanting to run away.

You can only try your best. It's not easy when you don't have a co-parent to lean on for support for positive feedback.

Children are wonderful but the ideal of: Get married, a good job, a mortgage and have children, is not a road to guaranteed happiness.

A bad separation and the aftermath can create the feeling of "Was it all worth it?". Well done for acknowledging your feeling. It's better to confront than try to suppress whole they slowly error your enthusiasm.

This is a silly question to a mum of four but do you have childcare help that enable you to at least have a little bit of time to yourself for adventure, relaxation, friendships or romance?