Ex now baby dad, confused and CMS

[Babygirlmum]

have posted about this ex a few times on this site so let me cut a long story short, my ex broken up with me when I was pregnant as he didn't want to be a dad to our baby, anyway I have had the baby she is now 4 months old and I have filed for CMS and since doing this he has been in contact with me now asking to see my daughter and asking for pics etc, he has asked for a dna witch I am fine to do and we are now going through the process of a dna test for my daughter and him, my daughter is the image of him and he knows this, anyway since doing this he has started going cold on me again and hating the fact I have gotten in contact with cms after getting in contact and being ok about it and wanted to make things right for me and my daughter, he asked could he see her snd I have been very hesitant as the way he treated me while I was pregnant and leaving me alone with our daughter, I have my barriers up to say the least, now I feel like he is prolonging things in terms of CMS so he doesn't have to pay me for longer but I don't know I am very confused by all this as I don't know if he came back with good intentions to see my daughter or just because I had gotten in contact with Cm I don't know what to do, my head says block him and get on with your life snd my heart says you can't do that, my head is everywhere since he's been in contact.

Its probably a ploy to avoid paying cms by requesting dna. However if dd is his he will have to pay back date and the cost of the dna. So hes shot himself in the foot

As hard as it is you need to stop trying to second guess your ex. Let CMS do their job. It will be back dated to when you started the claim.

Tell him is welcome to see baby every x day at x time and do not contact him otherwise. See if he steps up.

You have to see the relationship you have with your EX as separate to the one your DD has with her Dad.

If he truly wants to spend time with your DD, you could agree a mutual place to meet up, say the park, for a couple of hours initially and build up the time as he's currently a stranger to her.

If he tries to talk about CMS, you need to grey rock him. Refuse to discuss it, and stick to it. Don't argue with him about it, at most I'd say "it's being dealt with" on repeat, then leave it at that.

My EXDP didn't like being taken to CMS at all, and as a result he refuses to look after the DC for any more than 4 days a month, throughout the whole year. It's his loss though, as I manage perfectly without him.

Will he be better behaved if there's another person present when he has contact ?

tell him that once the DNA results are done then you'll be happy to organise some contact.