So confused

[Ellelloh]

I recently found it I was pregnant and we were both overjoyed, I was at a little shocked at first due to my age (41) but came round to the idea. He was ecstatic, talked of the future, moving in etc.
Although we live separately, living together was always on the cards. He has three children (7,8 and 19) and myself a daughter (15). We’re both pretty independent and stubborn people but pull together and support one another.
Anyway, since the pregnancy we’ve not been great. I realised at 4 weeks I was pregnant, we chatted together but I needed to talk things through with my mum- which he wasn’t happy about because he was obsessed with the 12week milestone. Next came work- I had to let them know as I work in a school and have to team teach children therefore had to stay safe. He wasn’t happy. I bought a baby name book and when he realised I was in trouble for buying something before the 12 weeks. When my daughter found out about the pregnancy she flew off the handle and sent my partner an abusive message which he is holding against her too. I’ve literally just told my siblings because I was made to feel I couldn’t for fear again of pushing him out. I’ve felt alone and isolated throughout like I couldn’t enjoy this pregnancy but at the same time he says he hasn’t bonded with this child and that I’ve pushed him out.
On Saturday, we had a heart to heart, I made it clear that I wanted to work on our relationship and get back the good times but he said he couldn’t get past the issues with my daughter and the fact I’ve needed to be in control throughout the pregnancy so far and left him out. He said had I not been pregnant everything wouldn’t been fine and kind of gave me an ultimatum- choose him or something that wasn’t here and just growing. I said I couldn’t do it so he turned saying I was wrong and it should be a 50/50 decision to make and that he didn’t want the baby anymore.We were due our 20week scan yesterday- he didn’t turn up and hasn’t mentioned it and has now blocked me on all platforms.

To put into context, we’ve been together 5 years, had some ups and downs like any relationship but pre pregnancy everything was great, family time, us time, we were brilliant.
Now I’m faced with the prospect of bringing another child into the world on my own, and just cannot see clearly at the moment. Anyone else been in a situation like this?

Oh what a selfish narcissistic man, it all had to be on his terms with him centred at the decision making. I think you are right, you will be a single parent and I suspect will struggle to get a penny in maintenance. I’m sorry this hasn’t turned out how you hoped it would. To make you choose between him and your unborn baby is just sick. Does he have any idea what an abortion at 20 weeks would entail? Look after yourself and take support from your friends and family.

Not been in your shoes. You need to just let him cool down and chat with your DD. Does your DD get along with your OH and kids? There's 5 kids between you both and I would not move in together it would be hell on earth .

His eldest flat shares with a friend, the younger two live with their mum but he had them every other weekend. The plan was for him to move in with me and my daughter. We see his children and all get on fine. I hope he cools down because he’s a great dad and would like him to be involved even if that means we’re not together.