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Lone parents

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Child’s father problems

2 replies

Itsthelittlethingz · 02/08/2022 22:18

Hi all hope you’re well! I need a little rant or insight from outside perspective. The twins dad has always been quite inconsistent throughout their lives. Recently he has got in a long distance relationship with a girl from Russia and has been going away for 4 weeks at a time with no communication. He text me this week on his return asking me for one more chance and that things will improve he has decided he is staying in the UK and building a life here (tbh I don’t have a clue what he was on about) He has baby to a ‘fling he met online’ and doesn’t support that child either. The siblings have never met or know about each other as he wants to keep them separate. My little girl (4 yo) came back from her dads saying he showed her a picture of him and his long distance GF which I just find weird. He pays £20 CM a month. Today I was triggered and pulled him up on it and he says he know the kids are well looked after with me and he wishes he could give me money. And if the children lived with him he would make sure they had everything they needed. Everything he does and says just angers me I try not to react as I think that’s what he wants but today I did. Without being rude he is unemployed, lives with his mum, sold his car, doesn’t look after his children, I have raised them by myself I feel like he brings nothing to the table except excuses. I only keep contact cause the children miss him when he’s gone. How would you navigate this situation. Thanks for listening xx

OP posts:
Crunchingleaf · 02/08/2022 22:51

You are the stable, dependable parent to your DC. Continue to be that person for them. You have no control over whether or not he will actually step up and be a good dad to them. It’s unlikely that he ever will. Your understandably angry that he can come and go so easily from their lives.
I would just smile and nod when he is talking shite. Communication would only relate to the DC and I would definitely not chase him when you don’t hear from him for awhile.

BlackeyedSusan · 03/08/2022 15:09

I think coming to terms with the fact he is not a good father will help you emotionally, despite it being wrong he is not providing. Being angry only hurts you unfortunately. Takes too much energy.

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