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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Cannot be bothered

13 replies

TheOrigRights · 02/08/2022 12:03

I have tickets to The Games. We need to leave early evening, to get the AirBnB I've booked in B'ham for the night, so we can go to the athletics tomorrow morning.

DS (13) is being foul and clearly doesn't want to go.
I thought it would be nice, but now I just can't be bothered.

I'm trying to work and wanted to finish early so I could pack a bag and hit the road.

I can't go alone and leave him here and no, I have no one who I can just leave him with overnight, not for something like this (I have people for emergencies).

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Original poster
TheOrigRights · 03/08/2022 08:13

...and no one in MN is listening either. I feel very isolated.
I guess that's the reality of lone parenting. Suck it up and get on.

OP posts:
Doyoumind · 03/08/2022 08:17

Did you go? Sometimes posts get missed and not responded to, particularly if they aren't in one of the more popular topics. I hope you told him he didn't have a choice.

MissMaple82 · 03/08/2022 08:23

Just take him, I'm sure once there he will enjoy. I wouldn't just not go

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 03/08/2022 22:39

No we didn't go. I honestly could not face trying to make him enjoy himself or trying to ignore his grumps so I could have a nice time.
I am on edge trying to manage the long summer working with him at home, and I threw the towel in.

After an icy morning he found a friend to come over, which eased the tension and things are back on an even keel now.

I know it's the ups and downs of him being a teenager, but I feel very alone with it at times.

OP posts:
Orangesandlemons77 · 03/08/2022 22:44

I have a 13 yr old DS and finding the holuidays tricky too, seems not to be going out and seeing friends much. Just posting in solidarity really.

BiscoffSundae · 03/08/2022 22:47

I generally avoid posting on this section now, no one ever responds so just to let you know it’s not just you, I post on more busy boards on lone parents you are very lucky to get a response.

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 04/08/2022 15:51

Thank you both.
I have had good responses on here before (I mainly come to have a good old moan).
It just sucks and isn't what I wanted for my kids (or me).

OP posts:
Orangesandlemons77 · 04/08/2022 19:06

I find the teenagers section a bit busier if that helps any x

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 04/08/2022 19:54

Orangesandlemons77 · 04/08/2022 19:06

I find the teenagers section a bit busier if that helps any x

It is, yes, and I post there too.
But I felt lone parents was more appropriate as I felt the situation was exacerbated by me being a lone parent i.e. no one else to give him a kick up the arse or chivvy him along to get a bag packed, or to calm me down when I was wound up, or to enable me to go by myself.

I'm struggling and didn't want to be told he's being a normal teenager i.e. just get on with it.

OP posts:
unicornsarereal72 · 05/08/2022 10:23

Teenagers and lone parenting are both challenges. What's is right for you and your family maybe different to anyone else's. My eldest is 15 and is still happy to do family stuff. But I know it's a careful balance of him having his own space and time to decompress. My teen spends far to much time gaming for my liking but that is how he socialises. And is his time out from day to day stuff (he has asd). So the rules are. We eat together. He chips in with jobs when asked. Walks the dog daily. And joins in family activities. Swimming. Zoo etc. something may not be his thing but he has younger siblings so has to accommodate everyone's needs. I hope we have a good balance. And it isn't for much longer and he will be off building his own social life.

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 05/08/2022 15:55

I'm just so pissed off with everyone!
The people who say "ohhh, I'm off that week, so I'm free for us to get together", with no acknowledgement or even thought that them being free makes no difference to how easy or difficult is it for me.
I'm turning into a horrible person.
I feel like replying "That's nice for you, unfortunately I still have all the same restrictions and am juggling all the same things, so fuck off".

OP posts:
Voerendaal · 10/08/2022 13:48

This is the first time I have looked at lone parents as I was widowed 2 years ago and most of the posts don’t seem to resonate with me. However I read yours and I so feel your pain. My DD is 13 and has had a turbulent 2 years with losing her DF suddenly. Anyway cut to today - she is like Jekyll and Hyde. She can be lovely but my god she can be horrible. We went to a holiday cottage in the Whit week - she was bored, wouldn’t walk anywhere spent most of her time on her phone. I realised that we wouldn’t be doing that again. It is such hard work and so lonely. Most of my friends are married. No one understands how hard it is on your own. I also have no parents and my family are not near - so the day to day stuff it is hard. It is having no back up that is the hardest. I constantly question myself but often feel that she manipulates me. Yes she is just being a teenager and I think most of her behaviour is down to hormones etc. I think I would say to yourself - be kind to yourself, no one else is in your position so can’t judge. Other than that I don’t know - sometimes feel I just live day to day and if my plans are going to cause an argument- I just can’t be arsed with it. Take care

Voerendaal · 10/08/2022 13:52

Oh and friends!!! Very very few have any understanding. Not a lot I can do. My DF died just before lockdown and a number of people who I thought were friends turned out to be unable to speak to me.
You soon find out who your friends are !

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