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Original poster

Advice needed. I placed my daughter into foster care under section 25, how do I get her back

25 replies

Bluebell5050 · 23/07/2022 00:03

please don’t judge. or say hateful comments. I’m a person at the end of this and I’ve hit rock bottom.

Last year a combination of working in icu, my ex being calling me all the names under the sun to my daughter and using her to get to me and her severe challenging behaviours I had a mental health breakdown. SS refused to help me, however I ultimately placed her in care are I felt suicidal and struggled to cope. She is in foster care under section 25 but SS are not helping get me get her back home. I’ve been accused of emotional neglect etc.

It’s been 6 months. I have done everything asked, I am back at work. I feel better and able to cope. I just want my daughter back home with me.

OP posts:
watcherintherye · 23/07/2022 00:09

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling. How old is your daughter?

Queenie6655 · 23/07/2022 00:10

Sending you lots of good wishes op

Do you have a social worker???

Sounds so hard xxxxxxx

Dic · 23/07/2022 00:11

No advice OP but I'm glad you're feeling better Flowers

SD1978 · 23/07/2022 00:12

How old is she? Is she in kinship care? When you say SS aren't helping, do you currently have visits with her, are they going well? Do you need to have some documentation or an assessment to show/ demonstrate how things have now changed for you, and what strategies you have to not have this situation again? Do you have a SS you are currently in touch with? Unfortunately reunification can be a long process, and a difficult one x

Wasywasydoodah · 23/07/2022 00:14

write a letter and say you withdraw consent for section 20 (it’s not 25) accommodation and you require your daughter to be returned to your care within x days. Hand deliver it or recorded delivery, and email a copy too.

if the social workers disagree then they’ll have to start court proceedings and get a court order to keep her in care.

watcherintherye · 23/07/2022 00:16

Wasywasydoodah · 23/07/2022 00:14

write a letter and say you withdraw consent for section 20 (it’s not 25) accommodation and you require your daughter to be returned to your care within x days. Hand deliver it or recorded delivery, and email a copy too.

if the social workers disagree then they’ll have to start court proceedings and get a court order to keep her in care.

I think it is Section 25 in Scotland?

Wasywasydoodah · 23/07/2022 00:18

Ah, if in Scotland then ignore me. I have no knowledge of Scottish systems

Original poster
Bluebell5050 · 23/07/2022 00:22

She is 10

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluebell5050 · 23/07/2022 00:23

Yes. Shes nw starting to understand how challenging my daughter is.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluebell5050 · 23/07/2022 00:31

SD1978 · 23/07/2022 00:12

How old is she? Is she in kinship care? When you say SS aren't helping, do you currently have visits with her, are they going well? Do you need to have some documentation or an assessment to show/ demonstrate how things have now changed for you, and what strategies you have to not have this situation again? Do you have a SS you are currently in touch with? Unfortunately reunification can be a long process, and a difficult one x

She is 10, not in kinship as I don’t have any family really.
I do have visits and they are going really well, she asks to come home with me on every visit. However every word I say is being scrutinised, I cannot make jokes or show any kind of sarcasm.

i don’t have an documentation but I don’t have the same stressors, her dad was only involved briefly and took that opportunity to turn her against me - he really did manipulate her. School were able to identify this and asked if he really should be involved in her life.
I don’t have the same work load as last year and I can see now that I was suffering from ptsd, also I had depression and anxiety but gp has documented this is situational due to how challenging my child is. I am no longer medicated (6months) and feel a million times better.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluebell5050 · 23/07/2022 00:43

I feel unless she is back home with me then she has no future. At the moment educationally she is a nursery level as she has no written assessments to progress. She attends a support school which basically pacify her at the moment, rightly foster carers don’t push her as to keep the peace at home.
the foster carers are incredible and we have a great relationship. They have a hard time at home and understand the challenges.
they have additional respite support which is something I was never offered and when I asked this was refused.

all I am is a mum and I feel it’s been stripped from me. All I do is think if my child.
I won’t apologise for being mentally unwell and I was genuinely at rock bottom with her behaviour accumulating. She destroyed my house with her tantrums, I followed profession advice by allowing her to let her anger out. She was expressed countless times from school due to her violence. she was screaming in my face one night and I pushed her away so I’ve been accused of physical abuse.

however I know i a good mum. I do lots of activities in and out of the house on a daily basis prior to the breakdown and even during only lesser so.
i am patient. I have open to trying techniques and strategies.

I know that no one else can look after her the way I can.

OP posts:
Ravenclawdropout · 23/07/2022 01:17

OP does your DD have special needs?

HeddaGarbled · 23/07/2022 01:24

Be patient, keep up the visits, stop being sarcastic.

Original poster
Bluebell5050 · 23/07/2022 01:34

HeddaGarbled · 23/07/2022 01:24

Be patient, keep up the visits, stop being sarcastic.

The sarcasm isn’t snarky, it’s in fun jovial terms which are twisted for example saying ‘there’s a surprise’. Part of my personality.

OP posts:
FAQs · 23/07/2022 01:35

The GP has documented your stresses due to how challenging your daughter is? That hasn’t gone away, how have you changed to be able to handle the situation now? They might be worried you are off your medication. It does sound as though the steps you are taking so far though are all positive.

Original poster
Bluebell5050 · 23/07/2022 01:35

Ravenclawdropout · 23/07/2022 01:17

OP does your DD have special needs?

Yeah. Autism, adhd and odd

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluebell5050 · 23/07/2022 01:41

FAQs · 23/07/2022 01:35

The GP has documented your stresses due to how challenging your daughter is? That hasn’t gone away, how have you changed to be able to handle the situation now? They might be worried you are off your medication. It does sound as though the steps you are taking so far though are all positive.

Prior to the break down I was working 60hours a week and now I’m part time, the dad has disappeared again so I don’t have the opposition of him, I have dealt with the ptsd and received counselling.

the medication was to try help cope but in actual fact I felt numb, CBT works much better. If I had received the help I needed a year ago then medication management could have been avoided completely.

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 23/07/2022 02:10

If she is on a S25 you should be able to have her returned to you immediately. The onus would then be on the SW put a legal order in place if they don't think she should go home. To get this immediately they would need to apply for a Child Protection Order however this would only be granted if the Sheriff believed there was an immediate risk to your child. The other way would be for them to call a Children's Hearing but this would take a bit of time and may actually go in your favour. Can you afford to get legal advice. A solicitors letter advising of your rights and setting out that you wish your DD to return to your care may be helpful here.

Original poster
Bluebell5050 · 23/07/2022 02:19

ApolloandDaphne · 23/07/2022 02:10

If she is on a S25 you should be able to have her returned to you immediately. The onus would then be on the SW put a legal order in place if they don't think she should go home. To get this immediately they would need to apply for a Child Protection Order however this would only be granted if the Sheriff believed there was an immediate risk to your child. The other way would be for them to call a Children's Hearing but this would take a bit of time and may actually go in your favour. Can you afford to get legal advice. A solicitors letter advising of your rights and setting out that you wish your DD to return to your care may be helpful here.

Thank you for this advice, this has been really helpful.
I will look into getting a solicitor.

OP posts:
Redsquirrel5 · 23/07/2022 03:20

I was going to say get a solicitor. I attending a case once ( ADHD child’s 1:1 hours being cut drastically) and mum had a barrister representing her plus my report. She won everything back!
What they didn’t know but I did ...that mum was his secretary😂he did it for free.

That is an awful situation to be in. Glad to hear you are feeling much better. Typical that they find money to give the foster carers respite but not the parent on her knees. I would keep the sarcasm in check, jump through their hoops and try again with the solicitor( one experienced in this area) and keep up the visits. I hope it is resolved soon.

jassy11 · 05/12/2022 02:13

With social services once u sign a section 20 that’s basically saying you have given ur child to their care and they will use that against your g w emotional neglect saying that u couldn’t cope and use the section 20 signing as ‘proof’.They can be very corrup,it can be very tricky to get them back after that.On Facebook there’s a group ran with advice for this sort of stuff,it’s called the secret social worker or something along the lines xx

jassy11 · 05/12/2022 02:14

You only signed a section 25 so they should be able to give you ur kid back it’s the section 20 you should NEVER sign xx

jassy11 · 05/12/2022 02:28

And they didn’t let you have any respite or extra support at home with her?Thats definitely wrong on their side they knew I were struggling and let you continue to go down that path,you were always gonna get burnt out.I have autism and I’m 18,I got taken from my mum,she did have alcohol issues too tho and adhd,so she was always very chaotic I was more the parent at times,but my emotional meltdowns and sensory issues weren’t being helped so I got taken away…From what you’ve said,your only a mum,I’m sure your very devoted to caring and nurturing her,but it’s very hard to when your child’s got so many specific issues and can also be abrasive and chaotic with mood swings I’m assuming…You seem good mum who doesnt seem to have a bad past and just got burnt out which is expected when having a child w additional needs…Do you have any past skeletons they can/are using against you,what about her dad?Was that anything they could use against you for having trauma so you can’t cope?Thats what they use against some normal mums…

As for the physical violence they’re accusing you of,you having a child w said diagnosises I’m sure she’s probably had a episode where she threw things or u felt scared for ur safety???Do they expect you to stand there when she could easily hit you,you were protecting her if anything,when a child’s got ‘aggression’ or ‘violent’ on their profile for foster parents that can make it hard for them to be placed especially with a nice family…But she should be with you her mum,I’m not saying that foster parents don’t get taught and trained to deal w children w extra needs but I worry for her,moving to a new family even nice ones can be such a big change,especially as she has autism…

jassy11 · 05/12/2022 02:30

They will use anything they can against you,I’d not just to be careful x

jassy11 · 05/12/2022 02:33

Also under law I’m sure when u sign a section 25 the parent can revoke it at any time xx

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