If this is my fault, how could I fix it?

[Rosl]

When I was a few months pregnant my partner left. I’d been hormonal and pretty shit to him and he turned more more to drink. Things got worse as he then did some shitty things and we argued more and then he blocked me on everything.

I sent a photo after birth and heard nothing. He’s not told anyone except his family and one friend about it and his friend said he doesn’t feel he can have a relationship with the baby because I am too volatile and get too upset and angry with him. We had a nice relationship before pregnancy and I had contacted him in pregnancy to say I was sorry i messed up and could we forgive each other? No response so I eventually gave up

I feel such guilt for the baby like it’s my fault he’s not around. I could never go back to
the relationship but I’m so sad he won’t see the baby. He has a career but no other commitments so has time. Is this my fault? And what can I do to fix it if it is? I will do anything to try. I can’t be the reason he doesn’t see them :(

Obviously you both sound better apart than together and it sounds like you both did silly things so not a one person blame game. Stop being so hard on yourself as I doubt he is worrying about his past behaviour. You both made mistakes.

It isn’t your fault he doesn’t see his child because regardless of any issues that should be his priority. If the issue is you he could have went for a contact centre or through a relative so obviously he’s enjoying not having the responsibility. I would keep any evidence u have of reaching out, possibly try one last time with an email/txt. Something along the lines of I understand that things haven’t worked out for us but your child needs their dad in their life. Again keep this, it’s not for his benefit but when your child is old enough to ask you then have proof you tried.

Other than this shower your child with love and enjoy every moment together because they grow so quickly! You are their person, the one they rely on and that will bring a very special bond.

No you can’t, if he doesn’t want to be involved nothing you can do will change it, he may change his mind (or may not) but you can’t change it, my ex isn’t involved at all, he doesn’t work so that’s not an excuse he just doesn’t want to be involved, some men don’t.