Single mum, end of maternity leave

[laurdi]

Hi everyone

Wondering what the best thing is for me to do.

Im a single mum of DS 6 and DD nearly 9 months. Maternity leave coming to an end (I've taken a year) so trying to decide my next steps. Options are

A. Return to work (receptionist) part time, using nursery for baby and trying to fit in with school hours as much as possible, possibly using after school clubs too

Nursery fees are around the same per hour as what I earn
45min commute each way.
She has CMPA and is extremely clingy so nervous to leave her but also it may be good for us? My work will want me to do a 6.30pm finish on a Friday (meaning home at 7.30pm) which I don't think I'm happy to do. so returning will be dependent on them being flexible with this.

Or

B. Not go back to work at all, relying on universal credit payments until baby is 2 and I will get help with childcare costs and can find another part time job then
Less money (I will just scrape by) but it's temporary.. October is also when I start year 3 of my degree so I will have more time to focus on this if I don't go back to work which may be better for long term?

The kids dad cannot be relied on for childcare and does not pay maintenance (has been unemployed- he's just landed a job with very good pay but I'm not counting maintenance in my calculations as i can't rely on it if he quits his job etc).

Any experiences or suggestions?
Part of me says you'll never get this time back with baby.. spend another year with her and focusing on studying, building my future
Other part of me wants to earn an income (albeit a small one after nursery fees, petrol for commute etc) and have some adult conversation

As for how she ended up a lone parent, that's irrelevant. It's where she's at. End of

It's not about "how she ended up a lone parent" it's about how she thought she'd cope when she decided to have another baby, knowing the father (whether they were together at the time or not) is financially not reliable.

If you do an admin job, have a look for a Parish Clerk job. They are flexible hours, I do mine around nap times predominantly. I do have one evening meeting a week which I get a babysitter for as my husband works away from home most of the time.

Who's moralls? Yours? Personally unless you're going to help her I don't think she should give a Flying fuck.

OP you're aren't half between a rock and a hard place.

Make sure you factor in the absolute cluster fuck that is UC and how long you will be between finishing your job and receiving payments.

For those who think UC is just for those who can't work/out of work. This can be an element of UC but millions of people on UC do work and it's a means tested benefit. So both me and my husband both work (him full time and me part time for the kids) we get it as a family. You do get more from your pound if you are in part time work rather than completely out of work - which is why I suggested maybe looking for another job that can better accommodate your children and you.

They pay 85% childcare costs in arrears so you're kind of always a month behind if that makes sense so make sure you have your first month's childcare costs saved.

Being in some sort of work is quite good for me mentally and we are better off financially than my earnings being 0 and relying solely on the added UC top up.

It’s not about that at all- it’s completely irrelevant as it’s in the past and not worthy of headspace unless you’re a judgemental fool.

The serenity prayer, just for you-

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference.

Go back to work, put baby with a childminder who doesn't mind doing a later shift. Then look for a new job more suited to your current situation it's easier to get a new job whilst working.

An ex colleague has just secured work with the Environment Agency, admin based, 3 days from home, 2 days in the office, fairly flexible can do school pick ups and drop offs if she makes up the time although her children are older and entertain themselves once home.

Lots of different roles out there at the moment.

Have you checked what UC you’d be entitled to for your childcare costs for option A?

In your situation I went for the studying option. I had full student finance, a couple of low income and child related grants and the childcare grant which paid almost all of my childcare. I also claimed UC top up, had free council tax etc etc for three years. I was better off than working or just on UC.

I then started a 25k+ job two weeks after I graduated and now only use tax free childcare and child benefit.
if I’d carried on in part time low paid work I’d have still been almost entirely reliant on UC handouts.

Stay in work (I'm guessing you've been studying while in work already?).

Stay in work. Get the best package you can from them and if that doesn't suit look for a new job. It's easier to find work when you are already working.

Please check the benefits situation again as you might find (as suggested by PPs) that some of your childcare costs are covered.

There are non financial benefits to working so if you can make it work that's what I'd do.

If it absolutely will not work then plan B, keep studying and hope that you will be able to get a job when the time is right.

I'd be nervous about leaving a paid role but only because no one knows what the future may bring and my hunch is it's better to be in work than not in work.