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Baby dad trying to come back

3 replies

Babygirlmum · 11/07/2022 12:49

I need some advice, my baby dad left me back in September pregnant and told me he doesn't want anything to do with our baby and he does not want to be a dad he made this very clear and continued with this, I have since had my beautiful baby girl she is now 12 weeks old and I have been in contact with child maintenance as I thought it was only right he paid for his daughter since doing this over a week ago he has been in contact with me wanting to see the baby and asking to be a part of her life, I really want to know why it's taking him 12 weeks and a child maintenance letter to get in contact and all of a sudden he wants to be a part of her life after being very clear he wanted nothing to do with her he didn't want to be her dad he put me through loads of stress while pregnant didn't want our baby asked me to get a termination now all of a sudden want to be dad of the year. Any advice on this as I'm in brain freeze mode, also he hasn't really made an effort or tried to convince me he has changed I did for all of 5 minutes and then now I see his old traits again and I keep putting a barrier up he seems more interested in me and my life more than the baby and and then he claims it's because he doesn't have a bond with her yet so there is no emotional connection, I don't know what to think my emotions are swaying again.

OP posts:
Twizbe · 11/07/2022 12:57

He's likely discovered that if he has 50/50 custody he doesn't have to pay ....

Likely he will play dad for a while then disappear only to reappear when you chase for payments again

Danikm151 · 11/07/2022 13:03

If he’s serious he will adapt to building up contact. An hour at a time for a few weeks then you leave for an hour. Can take a few months to build that bond.

if he refuses to stick to a contact plan you know he doesn’t really mean it. Some men refuse the idea of a baby until they arrive and then boom dad of the year or realise the commitment they need to make to baby

FairyBatman · 11/07/2022 13:12

You need to draw a very clear boundary between contact with your daughter and the rest of your life.

Your life, relationships, friendships,home, finances are absolutely nothing to do with him, so don’t discuss them with him.

Contact is purely for your daughter and ex’s benefit, and it’s totally separate from CMS. He needs to build up slowly from an hour at a time whilst she is still tiny. If he won’t agree or won’t stick to it tell him to go to court.

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