Not paying maintenance if you don’t see the kids

[BalloonsAndWhistles]

I just can’t can believe how many people think this is ok?!!! I’m currently on a FB thread where loads of people are telling me I’m wrong for saying that kids are not ‘pay per view’ and it’s wrong to expect the resident parent to shoulder all of the financial responsibilities.

Seriously, are these people brain dead?!

There’s resident parents out there skipping meals and a maintenance payment would make all the difference. Yet their ex sees the new phone as more important. So bloody infuriating 😡

Not paying maintenance as well as not seeing the DC makes them doubly scummy.

Why do they think the non resident parent should get all these choices while the resident parent has no choice but to get on with it and do the best they can.
Id have to back away from the conversation, it would make me too angry

Contact and maintenance are rightly totally separate.

Omitting either is scummy. Omitting both, as per thread title is the very worst.

I am Backing away, i can feel my blood pressure rising already. one guy was bleating on about court costs being prohibitive for men if the ex doesn’t let them see the kids. In my case, my ex just spent thousands on a wedding when he
owes me thousands. I’m on a CMS FB group and the same sort of story comes up time and time again. Women owed thousands and the men claiming their poor yet their getting married/three holidays a year/expensive cars. You name it. And they wonder why we’re infuriated!!!

*they’re

I wouldn't get involved with arguments like this on Facebook tbh

My ex comes to my door with the latest iPhone and skips a month in child support he got engaged and quit paying altogether he tells everyone he pays me hundreds a week can barely afford to EAT because I'm BLEEDING HIM DRY but he is actually giving me fuck all

I don’t normally. That’s why I’ve blocked the group so I’m not tempted to respond anymore.

And I still let his child see him because it's their choice not mine unless it's unsafe or they say no

I wonder if that's the same group I'm on OP!

I'm a female paying parent (pay & see DS regularly) but used to be a receiving parent for my DD's & had to enforce maintenance through CSA/CMS & DEO.

I joined thinking it might be a source of support & help but it's mostly women asking how their partner can get away with paying less for his kids with ex.

I remember the day when I was struggling with the nursery and school pick up which happened 10 minutes apart at opposite sides of town, my ex had taken the car in the night and I was on my knees with exhaustion. He sent me a text to say he wouldn't be seeing the DC anymore as 'it didn't suit'.

They're 21 and 23 now and he was true to his word.

He'd only had them three EOW before then, left them alone aged 3 and 5 in his flat to buy beer so no great loss I suppose.

I've never told them this, though. Never said a bad word about him to them.

lots of people think like this they are just not open about it, my ex doesn’t pay any maintenance he also doesn’t see our children, when I asked him for maintenance he said “you don’t have kids to get paid”

Oh God, I hate the women like that who are ‘standing by their man’. In fact, I pity them because I just know he’ll be doing it to them at some point if they ever have kids.

My ex walked away, stopped answering his phone and never saw the children again. Parenting is supposed to be 50/50, surely he owes me at least minimum wage for 12 hours a day since then. I never agreed to this.

There’s a few of them as I wanted to join some maintenance groups on Facebook to ask some questions but so many of them was aimed at NRP Avoiding maintenance

I accidentally joined one for NRPs once and my
eyes nearly popped out of my head with what they were saying. They were giving each other virtual high fives the lower their payment amount was. There was one comment that stuck in my head from a self employed guy paying £0 to another self employed guy who was paying something like £40 a week. The first guy said ‘WTF, you need to get yourself a better accountant mate!!’ As if paying for his kids was the same as reducing any other inconvenient bill!! Absolutely unbelievable.