How to manage bedtime with baby and toddler alone

[DisneyBaby]

I'm not a lone parent but I might as well be because my husband leaves us to play golf several evenings a week and I have to manage the bedtime routine on my own.

We have a 2 year old and a 11 week old so are still adjusting to how to do things with two.
Our 2 year olds bedtime routine for the last year or so has been to snuggle in bed with me and I read her two or three books before she rolls over and falls asleep after story time.

When my husband is around he can take our younger daughter and I can do this as normal, but when I'm in on my own I am struggling because there has been several occasions where I've started to do story time snuggled in bed with our 2 year old and then my infant has started crying or become unsettled and I've had to stop reading to her midway through a book which really upsets my toddler and stops her from going to sleep (not a tantrum, genuinely upset😢). I try and put my infant on my lap and read to/ let her look at the picture too, but this doesn't work for long.

I try to get my younger daughter to sleep first and then put her down before my toddler goes to bed but she doesn't like to be put down in the evenings much at the moment.. I just feel awful for my older daughter, last night she cried herself to sleep holding her book that I didn't get chance to read to her😔

Any tips on how to cope with bedtime with two young children on your own please?

I put down the older one first because I know he will settle once he's had his routine. His younger sister comes and listens to the story (sometimes . . Sometimes she crawls round wrecking the room) but once he's down and had all his needs met I can go wrestle the baby. The little ones are so unpredictable and every time I've tried to put her down first there's been an issue and my little lad has either been kept waiting until he's exhausted or has been interrupted and upset.

However.. missing the bigger issue with total inequity of workload. That needs addressing.

Tell your husband to stop dumping all this on you and do his fair share.

Will baby stay asleep if on you? You could try to get baby to sleep in a sling, then as long as you stay sat up you could do story and stroke toddlers hair instead of cuddles.

Or you could try to get them both to settle in your bed, with you in between. Toddler could watch cartoons or play on a tablet while you get baby to sleep, then you do story. Once every one's asleep you could move baby, or even toddler if she's a deep sleeper to wherever you want them to sleep.

Inform your lazy feckless husband that he needs to get his arse off the golf course and parent his children.

And if he's as much of a twat as I think he is, and he refuses, try putting the baby in a sling.

I would recommend settling both in the same room at the same and feeding baby to sleep. All snuggle in big family bed, feed baby while reading as many stories as 2-year old has appetite for, baby drops off and is slid into cot adjacent to bed, 2-year old gets a little bit of time with you on your own, you settle them in big bed and they go to sleep. You might as well snuggle down for the night too, seeing as you're in such good company, and let your partner sleep in the spare room. For me, one of the loveliest periods of parenting young children was the baby + toddler bedtimes, so cosy.

I'm another one thinking your DH is well out of order going out bloody golfing while you have a toddler and a baby!!

I had a 2yo and newborn twins. My DH and I took turns to do bedtime with eldest or settle the babies - and especially in the early weeks he did more with the 2yo because I was BF. I'm not sure what I'd have said if he announced he wanted to play golf - I'd have been raging. One off maybe, several times a week FUCK NO.

The only thing I can suggest is to feed the baby just before you start the books with your toddler. Even if they're not sleepy, they're more likely to just doze/ cuddle in your arms while you read. This is what I sometimes did on my nights for doing the toddler's bedtime, if one of the twins was really refusing to settle for my husband.

I completely agree, I love the sleepy cuddles and often used to drift off myself too! But my youngest isn't enjoying it yet, hence the post about what to do.. Hopefully she'll start to enjoy it soon too!

Thanks for the tips! Can't imagine newborn twins with a two year old, glad you had the help!

Snuggly stories sounds lovely, but if you have nights that you’re really struggling, would eldest enjoy listening to an audiobook (with the promise of a mummy-cuddle) and real story book in the day time instead)? Perhaps that way you can cuddle both while listening to a story, but not have to worry about having your hands free to turn pages etc.

Golf is now an occasional hobby he can revisit when the children are school age ...

Your husband going to play golf a few times a week is not the same as being a lone parent. This is definitely on the wrong board.

Co-sleep x

Have to agree with this. I'd get it moved to relationships where you'll get more traffic

Take up golf and just dump the parenting on your partner…. Oh wait, hang on.

honestly OP, you need to your on your handicap (golf joke), and sort him out.

*work