Dinner

[TheOrigRights]

I know I'm on here moaning a lot, it does help.

Dinner. Every sodding day.
I meal plan. He's fussy. I ask and ask and ask that he look up new ideas.
He doesn't.
He asks what's for dinner every day. I'm so bored of it. I tell him he can't complain if he won't make the effort to try and find new things to try. But
the tension is already there (he's 13, it doesn't take much, and I have little patience at the end of my work day).
I wouldn't bother if it was just me; I'd go out and do sport and then just have beans on toast or something.

It just feels like drudgery. I try and feed him well, but he'd rather have crap, so every meal feel like I'm pushing back.

He interrupts my work asking if there's anything to eat. I've literally just come back from click and collect. What he means is "are there any crap snacks?".

No, there's fresh bread, ham, raspberries, bananas etc.

On rotation is lamb casserole, chicken curry, thai fish curry, shepherd's pie, salmon, tacos, pasta/pesto, pasta/chilli prawns, beef stir fry.
He loves his meat, he doesn't like eggs, cheese, lots of veg, sauces.

I've raised an entitled brat and it makes me feel like I don't want to spend my evening with him. I'm just so tried of putting all the effort in.

I think I'd pick my battles to be honest.

Is he otherwise reasonable? Does he do his schoolwork? get good grades? If so, I'd be letting him eat what he wants.

Shove him £20 and send him Aldi.

At 13, give him a budget to plan a meal once or twice a week. If he can’t be bothered then tell him the alternative is beans on toast ( and there’s nothing wrong in that either). Give him a budget to buy the snacks he wants. Once they’re gone, they’re gone.

Tell him he’s cooking one night the next week. Doesn’t matter what it is as long as it has protein, carbs and one vegetable.

It’s a night off for you (eventually, once he’s learned how to turn the oven on etc) and he is learning a life skill.

Many of my friends were responsible for cooking their family meal once or twice a week from around 10/11. Maybe if you set the expectation that he’s on cooking every Monday and Thursday, or similar, he’ll 1) prepare something he likes, 2) give you a break, and 3) realize the effort that goes in and maybe complain less the other nights?

For my friends, it was never framed as a punishment, always as “you’re a big kid now; time to take on some family responsibilities… and be creative!” There was rarely any resentment, more a sense of pride, and it led to competent teens who had been cooking for years by the time they left home. I definitely plan to do this with my DCs when they’re older. I’m trying to lay the foundation now with my 5yo and 3yo by having them do age-appropriate tasks in the kitchen a couple of times a week.

I would sit down with him and ask for 10 meals he likes

if he doesn’t like sauces then I’m not surprised he’s moaning about casseroles, curries, tagines

if he doesn’t like sauces then I’m not surprised he’s moaning about casseroles, curries, tagines

I should have been more clear - he doesn't like creamy sauces and is fussy about others. The lamb casserole and curries I cook he likes. When I try a new one, it's a gamble.

We did get into a routine of him planning and cooking 2 meals a week. It didn't last for long. Maybe I'll take it down to once a week until school finishes.

He's doing well at school (though it's been very up and down emotionally).

If I let him eat what he wanted it would be pizza, chips, sausages etc. I can't allow that.

We live rurally, so this would take some planning and need me, but it's definitely something I can work into the week.

So, less shoving and more guiding, but good life skills.

Thanks all. I'm just in a rotten mood today and when you can't see a break in sight it gets me down (see my post about the forthcoming summer holiday)

I think some comprise also.
Of you want to do say salmon and sauce, with rice and veg. Can you ask about the sauce, let him have a little on the side in ramekin to try, and just let him eat without or with ketchup/ Mayo.
( no I wouldn’t eat with ketchup or Mayo either, but if he’s happy eating the fish/ veg/ carbs then I would let that slide)