I'm done

[SallyAnn32]

I just need to rant.

I'm a single mum of 2 daughters and I'm fucking knackered. I work full time, have no family nearby and a shit ex husband who has nothing to do with DD1 because their relationship has broken down and he's generally a selfish arse who sees DD2 3 times per month at that. He's going on a 2 week holiday to the Maldives next week with his GF (who was the OW) meanwhile I can't have a wee in peace. I'm just so overwhelmed with it all. Everything to do with the girls falls to me, I have no help in the school holidays from him and my daughters just want my constant attention and I feel so guilty when I can't give them that because im knackered from working and doing housework.

I thought it might get easier with ex but 3 years on it's only getting worse.

I feel at breaking point

I just think is this really my life? How is this my life? It sucks

How old are your DD’s?
you have my sympathy, my ex is just as bad. I have been a single parent for 6 years, both DD’s have SEN’s so need constant watching. Ex see’s them for a couple hours a week, never overnight, dd1 hasn’t seen him for a month or so (now she’s older I can’t make her see him). I have given up being angry with him and accepted that this is just the way it is, he’s never going to be a huge part of their lives, I’m never going to have a social life and I just have to make the most of a sh#t situation. It has got easier as they have got older though there are times when I feel totally trapped and alone.

Argh OP I've felt similar to you before! I have 1 DD who is about to turn 8, split from her dad when she was 6 months old.
He's never taken a day off when she's been sick, never taken her to a medical appointment, like you all the school holiday arrangements fall to me, he doesn't pay for school trips or uniform just thinks the peanuts he sends each month is enough for everything, tells me he's skint but then fcks off on holidays abroad without giving DD a second thought. I don't have much advise but just wanted to let you know I HEAR you! ✌️

@Lovemusic33 they are 7 and 10 so not babies but still need me nonthless.

Most days I'm ok and know it's not forever but today it's just too much!

Thank you, it's nice to know someone else feels the same. Even though it's rubbish

@23Elfie thank you! X

I know it's really hard but plough on because you are raising your best friends in later times.

They will know what a loser their dad is .

I feel the same but I have 4, on my own totally with them (ex fully absent) no family, everyone says how great and easy it is to be a single parent but it just isn’t! I think the people that say that have a lot of support!

Hang in there, you'll reap the rewards soon.
My dd1 changed massively as soon as she started secondary for the good, totally independent, cooks meals, organises her whole life, and the best bit is, she's brilliant company.
I'm totally getting my life back now my dc are 13 & 11, so not too long for you.
They'll understand what their dad is too soon, you won't have to do anything.

OP, I feel you completely 😢 I'm exhausted with it all. I think we just keep going though, and the kids are the reason for that. Everyone keeps telling me to Makesure I make time for myself, but there really isn't enough hours in the day.

Totally relate! I only had one DD but was overseas, two months maternity leave, ex left when I was pregnant and didn't see DD at all or pay a penny towards her from birth. My parents basically disowned me for being a single parent.

It seriously gets easier, little by little until existing becomes living, what feels like drudgery becomes actually just part of life and less like one chore after another. DD is 25 this year, ex hasn't contacted her in any way since she was six and it's honestly ok. She has a great degree, good job, in the process of moving out. We're very close and I'm single and happy.

I'm not a single parent but I was raised by one. My dad left my mum for the OW when I was 2 and my sister 7. I adore my mum and now I have two children of my own I am in even more awe of her. On behalf of some of the young people being raised by single mums (would never dare speak for everyone!!) - thank you so much for stepping up and shouldering it all. We really are so hugely grateful xxx

Being a single mum is SO HARD. I was one from when my DC were 1 and 3 to 11 and 13. It's just so hard having to do everything (even though I was fortunate to have some help from my parents).

As they get older, they need your physical presence less but they need you emotionally more. It can be draining. But: they will know (as they get older) what's what and they will know how much you did for them, even if they don't show it. My older DC are young adults now and one of them gets it and the other one very much doesn't. But I'm sure she will. I haven't been a perfect mother, but I've done my very best, and that's all we can do. I see my own parents with different eyes now I've reached middle age. The respect that wasn't always there when I was a teenager is there in spades. Parenting is a long game.

@SallyAnn32 . Single parenting is hard. Rant away!

Feel your pain Op. I'm in exactly the same boat. 💐

Could you take your ex to court? Does he pay? I agree it's tough.

I'm a single mum too life is so hard sometimes. How are things money wise? Are you able to afford to take a few days off and take girls out for the day and pay a cleaner to do a one off clean for you while you're out?