Hi there.
I'm a long time reader here, but never had cause to sign up before now. I'm going to give you all a very short version of events and then get to the point.
2014: Entered into relationship with woman who did not have her two children.
2016: My partner and her children move into a semi-detached. Our son is born.
2018: My partner, who has been controlling, derisive and violent before, becomes violent with me at a new intensity that I would acknowledge as dangerous.
2020: January, I take a chance and leave the house. Council refuses to offer priority access to social housing despite my evidence of abuse witnessed by all three children (including proof of injury) on the grounds that I haven't been hospitalised or called the police. They also will not help me because I am employed, and because I will not claim that my circumstances are causing me mental ill health.
2021: February, after 1yr 1mo 9d street homeless, I have saved enough money in spite of lockdown furlough to move in to a home. By now, ex-partner's older children have a small catalogue of abuses against them recorded. Things escalate between ex-partner and her now teenage children when I take 50/50 custody of my son and stop going to her house altogether.
2021: December, day after my son's fifth birthday, ex-partner throws him at a coffee table during our routine handover. I have had full custody since then, but am now embroiled in a legal fight over future arrangements.
- I am seeking full custody with supervised access only for Mum for the foreseeable future, until assessments down the line deem the likelihood of maltreatment virtually nil.
- Mum is seeking 50/50 custody without supervision or reassessment. Old status quo.
I have started a campaign for help with legal fees. I have been strongly advised to seek representation, but now as a sole parent looking for work that fits with availability between 09:30 and 14:30, I just can't afford it. Legal aid failed to act before my ex-partner was almost free of the restrictions included with her police-mandated "Pathfinder" (conviction dodger) course, which forced me to file the C100 on an emergency basis and proceed alone.
gofund.me/a371285a
I say on the page that I regret asking for help, and that's the truth. I didn't ask anyone for help after my initial attempt to get housed before the pandemic. I remained out of doors and I worked until virtually the whole country was furloughed. Then I did the odd bit of gardening and whatever else I could whilst visiting each day with my boy, even as assaults continued and the violence spread.
imgur.com/a/ymmrPn3
Unfortunately, during the span between around 2017 and 2021, I became completely isolated. Quite a bit before it became the done thing! I really don't talk to anyone these days beside the teachers at my son's school and my son himself.
I plan to use what I have left in savings, plus the forthcoming cost of living payments from the government to shoulder ideally about half of the costs. I'm ashamed to say that I'm seeking the rest from strangers who no doubt have their own hardships.
Thank you for reading. Thank you for lending the reach of your social circles, if you do that, or for giving yourself. Thanks also for any advice I'm offered and for any solidarity I am shown. I am happy to answer questions and show further redacted evidence, but I'm afraid I am not going to expose anyone's identity or use any recent pictures of my boy.
LP