Advice on how to cope with family splitting up?

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My partner of 7 years has decided he no longer wants to be with me and has moved back to his parents. We have a 4 yr old & a 9month old. I’m really really struggling mentally with day to day , I’m struggling with the thought of having to share birthdays and christmases etc. I’ve stayed in the family home and I’m so very worried about finances

I’ve barely eaten for 4 days, my stomach is constantly turning and I just can’t find any drive to get on with life.

is anybody able to share similar and reassure me I’ll hit a point where I just get on with it? 😞

Of course you will many have

You are in shock right now. Be kind to yourself. Eat and drink when you can. Gather good people around you let them support you.

I know the future is looking unpredictable but in time you will be ok. Don't look too far a head.

Now to be practical. Put in a claim for benefits. Single person discount on your council tax. Go through bills and ensure his bills are going from his account now. Car tax. Insurance mobile phone bill etc. My ex was most surprised that I didn't want to continue paying these bills when he wasn't paying any child support

Child support. What has been agreed. If he doesn't provide CMS is your next stop. I've spent year chasing money. As has the CMS. But with them at least it's accumulating. Hopefully.

Move things around at home pack his stuff away. New bedding. Anything to make home feel different.

Seek out support. Being sad is ok. But if you feel you aren't coping do speak to your GP. Seek out counselling. And give yourself a safe place to hash it out

Do not seek him out. He is no longer your friend. Do not respond straight away to messages. Think on things. Be as business like as you can be.

Seek legal advice ref home

Contact. Although it will be difficult ensure he gets full weekends with the children. He doesn't get to skip off and opt out. In time you will adjust to time when the children aren't there. I do know none of this is easy. You know you will be ok in time because there isn't any other alternative.

You are in shock at this time and will continue to be for a few weeks but eventually it will wear off and things will look and feel better.

The most important thing is to “keep swimming”, or as my exH put it, it is like riding a bike: “the moment you stop pedalling, you fall”. So make sure you do 4 things at this time:

• Be kind to yourself


• Have enough rest, sleep is essential for you to cope during the day on your own, so… if the kids are not in a good sleep routine yet, concentrate on that first. It is essential to survive on your own


• Go to entitledto.co.uk to check if you qualify for any help and apply ASAP. You may find this reassuring.


• Accept all the help people offers, from a cup of tea to babysitting, make time to build that network of support, having a cuppa with a friend is a very important thing, it would help you through difficulties and support you in the future (you need a village to raise a child and all that)

Believe me, you will be fine, you will find a way to cope and be happy soon, you just need to “keep swimming” through the difficult bits.

Take care.