hysterectomy as single parent

[yummytummy]

Hi having been on the waiting list for ages and suffering with very heavy bleeding pain etc have finally got a date for the op. So that is good but am a little anxious about recovery. am a single parent and don't have any support or family etc who could help. am really hoping kids dad will take them while i am in but after that will be on my own. i know i wont be able to drive for a while so wont be able to do school runs so will try to ask one or two school mums but this may not be every day. and then will try and prep beforehand ie do big food order, get ready meals and oven food and easy things but not sure what else i can do to prepare or help? i am worried as no idea of amount of pain after and i wont really be able to "rest" as such. also am self employed so only have 6 weeks off and it will be very tight then. am just really getting anxious. any tips greatly appreciated

Do you know how they are doing the surgery? Is it laparoscopic or radical?

my mum (otherwise very healthy) had a radical hysterectomy in January. We where amazed how much longer it took to recover than we thought it would. She couldn’t drive for 3 months and is only now back to near normal.

don’t rush recovery as tempting as it is. You will need to rest. Their father will need to step up

its abdominal

in that case I do think your 6 week timeline is sadly very optimistic.

good luck for the procedure and recovery. Take care of yourself

Think sirzy meant is it keyhole in which case recovery is quicker/easier or an actual incision through your abdominal wall, cutting through muscle and tissue -which equals longer recovery time .

as i have said it is abdominal. i can't afford to be off longer than 6 weeks

If you’re doing a big shop, remember to buy sanitary towels as you will bleed for a few weeks. Also buy some stool softener - I liked Fybogel - and make sure you stock up on fibrous foods as you might get a bit constipated.

Could you phone round and see if there is a local childminder who could help out with school runs? If I was a mum living near you, or a neighbour, I would try to help you with school run as much as I could, or take your kids for a play date at the weekend, or help you rally some people to help so you had a little posse of people you could call on for help. People can be a lot kinder than you expect, and I love to accrue a few favours for when I’m in a tight spot myself.

If your dc’s dad says he is willing to help but really doesn’t have time to do more than look after the kids on his weekends and while you’re in hospital, ask him for extra money so you can fund taxis for the kids to go to and from school because you won’t be driving for at least six weeks, probably more. If he can’t or won’t help practically, then he could support financially.

After a few weeks you could walk for about 30 mins at a stretch if you feel up to it, would it be enough to do the school run, is it at all walkable?

I realise it gets expensive but see if there is a local cleaner who would help with a one-off visit - maybe in the second week they could come in and change sheets, vacuum, do laundry. You want to avoid heavy manual chores or lifting to speed up your recovery.

Remember you can book supermarket deliveries early so you bag a cheap slot, then you can finalise your order at the last minute so you get the things you actually need. You can ask the delivery person to bring the shopping through to your kitchen to save you carrying bags - they don’t kind now Covid is over.

WhatsInAMolotovMocktail thanks so much thats really helpful and kind of tips i was looking for. can you get fybogel over the counter? sounds helpful. and didn't think of taxis for school he may help with the cost but he can be very unpredictable depending on his mood on any given day! thanks for the advice

I had an abdominal hysterectomy when | was 34 and was back at work 5 weeks later.

My surgeon told me not to take it too easy. He said the reason some women take so long to get over the op is because they literally do nothing but sit or lie around.

He told me to go for a walk every day and said as long as I did not lift anything heavy or do things like change the bed, it was perfectly ok to do housework.

I was in hospital for 2 nights. I got up the morning after the op and had a shower.

I think if you are fairly young and healthy you should be fine pretty quickly

thanks mydogisthebest glad to hear you recovered quickly i hope its the same for me and it seems its better to try and walk etc

Obviously every woman is different but I am guessing you are pretty young so that will certainly help.

Approach it with positivity (I think that helps too).

Hey OP good luck with your op! Can I ask how long you have waited? I'm also waiting for an abdominal hysterectomy and it feels endless!

Hi CookPassBabtridge been waiting since last august! It is so crap waiting isn't it and i have heard that they can also cancel routine ops just like that so that will be heartbreaking as am at the limit of what level of pain i can live with now i am barely functioning as it is!

What county are you in? I'm on the waiting list for a keyhole hysterectomy (Wiltshire) and have been told it's a 4-6 month wait (I saw them in April this year). I am not on Zoladex though, but was for an ablation procedure under ga (didn't have it in the end, just a polyp removal and a d&c) Is it something I will have to go back on? I hated having it done after a while and ended up having 10 of them.

yeah zoladex is shit had too many of those apparently when there were no ops over covid women had the injections for a year or so which is not ideal. it didn't even stop my heavy flooding.

When I had mine (also abdominal) the one thing I didnt think to get was anti sickness tablets. I was in hospital for 2 nights but then felt so sick and queasy once I got home. So might be an idea to get some in. What job do you do? I have a desk job and did a few hours from home after 5 weeks, but couldn't sit in an office chair for too long. I really hope it goes well for you and you have a quick recovery.

Tinkerbellflowers thanks for tips about sickness tablets will get some. I'm a dentist so not really a job where i can wfh! thanks for wishes

Thanks for replying OP, I've been waiting since last July in Yorkshire so hopefully soon.. it's for a massive fibroid. Hope yours goes ahead with no issues 🙏🏼

I'm guessing abdominal is also called keyhole?
I had one last year, also had my tubes removed. I was gobsmacked, In hospital one night, I think I started driving a week later, may have been 10 days? It was basically after my follow up consultant (all agreed with the Dr). Able to do the school run (walking) litually after a couple of days. The worst thing was the horrible injections I had to self administer to avoid blood clots, they stung!
I found the experience very positive. Obviously I didn't want a hysterectomy but I was relieved that the abnormal cells were being removed and so was my risk of cancer.
I also experienced very very little pain.
If the kids father could have them for a week or so, you really won't need much more help than that. What ages are they anyway?

Would it be worth speaking to school? When I was in a similar position I couldnt see a way of getting DD to school and was speaking to her class teacher. Next thing I knew, the head was ringing me to say she had rang another school just up the road who collected transported certain children in their minibus, and DD had a place there and back for 4 weeks! I would have been absolutely stuck without this, yet I had no idea such a thing was possible!

I had a hysterectomy as a single parent, I had it done keyhole. I had mine the day kids broke up for the holiday & was back driving 3 days later & back on the school run a week later. Just make sure you have plenty of shopping in for at least a couple of weeks & easy meals or batch cook & freeze.

I think it is called "open surgery" when it is done with an incision like a cesarean. I think that is what OP is having? And driving a car really wouldn't be okay until at least three weeks really.

@yummytummy can I ask how you got on on the end at all?