Is it true...

[Wuxiapian]

... that beacuse my father's son and I never married, he has no rights to our son unless he takes me to court to get parental rights?

We've been separated for 5 years now and, at first, he didn't seem to give a damn about out son.

Now, all of a sudden, "I'm his dad, I have rights".

At present, my ex has him every third weekend. My son isn't happy as he's never been close to his dad. I've tried explaining the upset this causes, but he's not very understanding saying that he's fine when he's there.

I don't want to have to force my son to go.
My family/friends say that I have the final say with matters concerning my son and if I decided that he doesn't go to his dads, he can't do a thing.

Can anyone shed any light?
Much thanks for reading.

Wow, Brandy, it seems you and your son have been through the mill.

It's good to know you and ex have managed to come to an amicable arrangement regarding your son. Must be a load off, so to speak.

My son returned from his dad's sunday evening. I asked how he weekend was, to which he replied, " Fine. Thank God, I don't have to go again".

Methinks hard times are ahead, but I'm prepared to stick to my guns!

oh bless him, you wont be able to force him to go from the sound of it, think hes made his own mind up eh. if your ex does decide the court route (more fool him) then you have nothing to worry about, just be honest and truthful

Thank you, all.

Advice very much appreciated.

If your son doesn't want to go then, if it was me I wouldn't force him to, I'd be feeling exactly like you.

I think so much of the time men can be very selfish in thinking that it's their 'right' blah, blah blah. Most of the time they're so caught up in what they want they forget about what their kids want. They're completely blind to their kids feelings. Very sad for the children.

My dd's dad has only seen her twice, she's nearly 8mo. I worry every day that he'll turn around in a few years and demand to see her. Takes more than sperm to be a daddy imo.

Yes, it's really difficult.

Us mum's get all the sh*t to deal with.

What's the reason for your DD's dad not seeing her?

Oh because he's a prick! What other reasons are there!

I'm quite a young mum at 20, soon to be 21. He's 2 years older than me and I'm sick of people making the excuse 'he just immature, maybe he'll come around in a year or two....' Is that supposed to be ok then? My dogs been a better father figure to my daughter!

He's seen her twice, she's nearly 8 months old. Once when she was about 3 weeks, once when she was about 10 weeks. Both times set up by me. Haven't heard anything from him, don't expect to. Not recieving any maintenance and the csa keep ringing me for his info which I don't have. He's moved house and changed his number without telling me.

I still don't understand him. Any time I did talk to him he was very enthusiastic about seeing her and that he wanted to be in her life, nothing ever materialised though. I'm happy with the situation as it is because it means I don't have to see him, speak to him etc. But I feel so very for dd though. And it'll be me that has to explain to her why her daddy doesn't want to see her in a few years time.

Nothing for her first Christmas, not even a text message to ask how she is, let alone a card/present. Don't expect anything for her fist birthday either. Like I said, complete prick!

Nothing even for Christmas?! What an arsehole.

They just don't seem to realise the harm they do.

Still, your DD will make her own mind up, as my DS is now.

Kids are very perceptive and it'll be their "dad's" that lose in the end.