Since we got a court order, this is the third birthday of my five year old son where it's fallen on his dad's weekend. On all three occasions, his dad has refused to let me see him. This year, I just asked for an hour to give him presents and a hug and he still said no. Last year, my family and I made a video and sent it to ex an his paternal grandmother after he refused to let me see him, and both deleted the video and didn't show it to my son. I'm loathe to go back to court as it's been such a traumatic process but not being able to see my son on his birthday is really upsetting and I worry about future years. Do you think I should send a solicitors letter to try and engage in mediation? It's very upsetting but compounded by the fact his dad was by choice not involved in the first three years of our son's life and saw him intermittently until he came back into his life and took me to court. It's his birthday tomorrow and I'm going to try and be positive and have a nice day at the gym and the sauna but not being able to see him is really really hard.