Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Ex going to live abroad.

4 replies

Kaykay78 · 20/05/2022 01:44

I desperately need some perspective. My husband and I have applied for a divorce. He will be going to live in SOuth Africa and I will continue to live in the UK with the kids. We have made a financial agreement but childcare is not so easy. He wants the kids to go to South Africa every other Christmas and Easter and for EVERY February half term. Now, I wanted to keep things civil so didn't decide to consult a lawyer for the sake of peace but I am now feeling that this arrangement is unsustainable. The kids will essentially be travelling to SA twice a year and one of those times will be for 1 week only. He is also proposing to travel to the UK to see them every 6 weeks. I find this really irritating as why does he get to have all the fun and see them on holidays when I am doing the day to day hard graft?!

My question is, if I go down the route of solicitors and pursue a childcare order, am I likely to lose more time with my children? Could then potentially say that this is totally sustainable and I should shut up? In reality, I should be grateful I get to see the children more than he does but the reality of going abroad twice a year is just not something I want them to have to do. Am I being ureasonable? THank you

OP posts:
Prollynot · 20/05/2022 13:36

How old are the kids and how do they feel about it? Could you consider mediation instead of court?

Holidayroundthecorner · 20/05/2022 13:56

Smile amd say that's nice? Can he financially sustain his plans?

PeekAtYou · 21/05/2022 20:37

A Child Arrangement Order doesn't force him to see the kids. It forces you to make the kids available on the date and times stated.

How old are the kids? Is he flying to the UK each time to drop them off and collect them?

DragonBoots · 22/05/2022 10:26

The DCs age is relevant here as I doubt the court would force you to allow them to travel that distance twice a year if they're young.

Will they have to travel unaccompanied?

It might be more reasonable for him to fly to the UK to have them for Feb half term, rather than have them fly out there.

As for the amount of time he has them - that sounds reasonable, and I doubt any court would want to limit it below that. His arrangement for holidays is similar to my ex who lives away from the DCs (still in UK but a long drive). We don't have a Court Order, but agreed it through mediation

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread