I've been on mumsnet for many years, and you guys have always been so great at all kinds of advice - I'm in desperate need of some/anything...
I don't want to rant on, so to try and put it briefly - it's all getting too much...
I've been a lone parent since I got out of a violent and abusive relationship 13 years ago, I was 4 months pregnant at the time. My DD knows nothing about 'him', has so far not asked, and thankfully I haven't heard or seen of him since.
I live in an area with no other single parents, everyone I know is married and all do things with other couples, I don't have any friends who are single, and I hate being the 'gooseberry', so, essentially I rarely go out/socialise.
I opened my own business in 2018, hired 3 members of staff, I was really enjoying it, and I think I literally poured my heart and soul into EVERY aspect of it. A friend, who I considered a close friend for many years, travelled with, confided in etc, suddenly decided my shop was 'pathetic', I was no longer worth speaking to, and without any conversation with me at all, just TOTALLY froze me out of her life.
My mum, who I care for since my dad died a couple of years ago, had caused some trouble with this friend, which contributed to it's demise, but never confessed to her involvement, and even met for coffee with her after I was 'ghosted'.
I obviously continue to care for her as my siblings all live away/overseas, so she has no-one else.
Despite my business doing so well for the first 2 years, Covid took more than it's toll and it could not survive, so I closed it a couple of months ago. The staff members I had turned on me, one being incredibly rude and offensive, the other offered we help each other out, take on a smaller premises, less overheads etc and work it between us, only to lie to me, having used my social medias large following to promote her new place, cut me out entirely.
My ex has a lovely lady in his life, they just bought a big beautiful house together, and seemingly have a great social life...
I'd obviously love to think it's not me, but... I've been lied to and betrayed so many times... how can it possibly be everyone else?
If I am a bad person, how do I fix that? How do I even begin to?
My confidence is absolutely non-existent, I have no single parent friends, and the only man I dared to date in the last 13 years blew up an argument the day before my birthday recently because he wants marriage and I don't, so he's had enough, while also being told by a member of his family he has a very serious gambling problem I didn't know about...
Honestly - my kids are the only reason I'm holding on... I have never felt so low.
Sorry for the long one 😒