Child maintenance and childcare… should I be asking for more?

[Mumandscrewed]

Finally starting to plan moving out properly and realising I’m financially screwed on my own.

I have a 7 month old and she is meant to be going to a childminder 3x a week when I return to work.. I’m reducing my hours from 5 days to 3 to allow me to care for DD the other two days.

I’m newly single - not my choice - and have been told that my ex will pay £250 a month for maintenance. Should childcare be coming out of this figure, or should he be making an additional payment at all?

The childcare is going to cost over £450, and I’m already losing £800 a month from going part time. I’m starting to panic how I’m going to be able to afford how to live 😪

[ivegotthisyeah]

You need to apply for universal credit they will too your pay up

[Indoorcamping]

Have a look on entitledto.co.uk

You'll likely be able to claim some universal credit which should help with childcare.

Personally i think he should pay for half of the childcare bill as well as maintenance but legally i don't think he has to. The system sucks.

[AHungryCaterpillar]

Is that through the cms? If so then that’s all he has to pay legally. You can ask for more from him but I wouldn’t expect any more so don’t be surprised if he says no.

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

As above - you need to put in a claim for UC. This will top up your wage and contribute towards childcare bills.

The person who needs the childcare pays the bill. So if he has your dd overnight Monday and Tuesday, but works on a Tuesday then he pays and sorts childcare that day. If he has dc every other weekend and doesn't work weekends then he doesn't need childcare so he doesn't pay for it.

Is 250 the amount the CMS calculator says?

[ChiselandBits]

legally, CMS is it and you can't actually force him to pay for childcare. Lots of single parents fall foul of this. Realistically, childcare allows you BOTH to work, regardless of which house the child slept at but it almost always falls to resident parent to fund it and even with UC help etc it can run into 3 figures.

[Mumandscrewed]

Thanks everyone. I think I need to have a conversation soon and go from there, but for now I’ve put a claim in for universal credit which might take some pressure off.

[Norush4]

@Mumandscrewed did you agree that figure £250? Or did you work that out on a CMS calculator?

Agree with others about UC. Realistically most dad's won't help you with childcare costs on top of the CMS they pay.

[PeekAtYou]

If that's a CMS amount then that's all he has to pay.

UC should help you with childcare costs on your days. He's liable for childcare on his days (if applicable)

[LightningAndRainbows]

What is the custody arrangement?

[DaisyStPatience]

Universal Credit will be a massive help, they pay up to 85% of childcare costs.

[DeskInUse]

Use the cms calculator for cms payments. I didn't and my exh paid me less than he should for years

[Starseeking]

CMS is unfortunately the only amount he has to pay legally.

My EX tried to say he was only going to pay CMS (we have a childcare bill of over £1,000), so I told him that was fine, he'd just need to let me know which days he'd be having DC 9-5pm so I could work. He soon paid up half.

[Mumandscrewed]

@Norush4 its based on the amount from the CMS calculator - £248 something.

Custody hasn’t been fully agreed yet but as I’m still breastfeeding and she will wakes in the night there is no way I’m agreeing to overnights yet. I’m trying to investigate options to allow him to see her at least 3 days a week though, I think that’s in her best interests. No idea if he will agree with any of it though 🤷🏼‍♀️

Had an identity appointment today for UC and feeling much better - I’m entitled to a lot more support than I realised. And of course the childcare which I also didn’t know about! Thank you everyone

[Roastonsun8]

My circumstances were slightly different as DS dad always watched DS overnight whilst I went to work and he was around 3 when we split. If I were you though I would get a child care agreement in place one that's legally binding to avoid less messing around when your child gets older. I notice once the father have not been involved from young regular it's extremely hard to try and Co parent from with an older child.

@Starseeking that's fab your child's father went half's on childcare costs! It's the way it should be but I would say this is definitely the minority.

[Starseeking]

He earns £60k working full-time as an employee, and was only paying me £300 maintenance a month for 2DC, so paying half the childcare bill was the least he could do!

Nursery for my second DC finishes soon, so I've taken him to CMS as he was planning to revert back to the £300 per month. They've said he has to pay £610 per month, so that's helpful going forward.

[Roastonsun8]

@Starseeking

He earns £60k working full-time as an employee, and was only paying me £300 maintenance a month for 2DC, so paying half the childcare bill was the least he could do!

Nursery for my second DC finishes soon, so I've taken him to CMS as he was planning to revert back to the £300 per month. They've said he has to pay £610 per month, so that's helpful going forward.

Yes I don't disagree with you it boils down to character doesn't and what some men are willing to do with their kids. It's nice to hear!

[Rosie5832]

Hi there, late to this one. I can't offer any clarity but I do have a related question.
I'm separated from former partner about 18 months and I have a 4yo boy. My ex currently pays for half of the childcare bill, which is five days a week pre-school wrap-around. We both work full time.
We are about to apply for divorce and he is getting his affairs in order, and in the process has said he will set up child maintenance payments instead of contributing to childcare. TBH I haven't asked for anything and didn't give this money much thought, but it occurs to me now that it's not fair that I should have to cover all childcare even though my son isn't with me every day. I'm aware that the CM payments are related to how many days/overnights my ex has his son.
So.... I'm thinking of proposing that I pay the childminder for only the workdays that my son is 'with' me, and telling my ex to pay for those days when he's 'with' him. Does this sound reasonable? I know I can't ask for childcare contributions via CM, but it occurs to me that I'm not responsible for providing care for my son when he's 'with' his dad.
Does anyone have any experience of this kind of arrangement? The childminder will be content to receive two separate payments, so that's not a problem.
(When I say 'with' these are set days that run across term and holiday where we take our son. He is 'with' me 7 schooldays per fortnight. So the childcare amount I would be expecting my ex to pay would be approx. £150 per month.)

[Frankola]

Apply for UC. You'll get help.
Your ex is not financially responsible for paying childcare costs while you're at work.

[honeybunsleo]

Don't rely on the cms calculator it's a load of crap. Open up a case that why it will track his real time wage year by year. Legally that's all he is required to pay.

Open a universal credit case too they will help with childcare costs. When my husband left me I was ok, universal credit helped a ton!

[Norush4]

Realistically is what you need to be. So unless your ex earns a wage to be going half on childcare you might as well lower the goal post.

£250 is OK for 1 child but it soon spends and it is not fabulous once the child gets older and wants to do more expensive actives and classes.

I agree about it depends on character what really erks me is the lack of willingness to offer to pay for additional things such as school uniform, school trips, world book day costumes, holiday spending money for their own child from a lot of men!